So much in love..part 2

For those of you who missed the previous blog, my wife told me to keep the 20th and the 21st free. That being her nth birthday and our 20th wedding anniversary, she promised it will be a familybonding day. So, I did. She wouldn't tell anyone what the surprise was until the last moment when we were inside the car. It was only then that she whispered to my ear, "EDSA Shagri-la Plaza hotel" I was dumbstruck! "whoa!" Then she was laughed her usual hearty laugh and said, "Don't worry, you're paying for it!" HAHAHA

So, we went! Just right after we checked in, we told the kids to go to the pool. They were already raring to go, when suddenly, Kraiganne said, "What about the two of you? Where will you be?" "Oh we will just stay here in the room and sleep!" Angrily, she said, "Ahhh you two better behave!" (I don't know what's with these guys but they would flinch everytime me and my wife would kiss. "Not in front of us, please!" ) It was then that Nitz said,"I'm having my period." Only then did Kraiganne was appeased and went with her siblings. Here is the funny part. SHE DID HAVE HER PERIOD! So you see, she didn't get lucky on her birthday. HAHAHA

Another funny thing was when the guys were looking outside of the window and saw a chimney emiting black smoke. (We were at the new wing) Mickey said, "Look, we still don't have a Pope!" The girls had an idea to go to a studio and have a family picture and I played along. Now, we have three shots of a family picture which I can use for a calendar should I prefer to file a candidacy for Pasig mayor hahahaha. Then we went out to a restaurant and had a sumptuous dinner. Funny, but Nitz insisted that we sing her a happy birthday song, and we did, albeit silently! We were laughing all the way. After dinner, us boys played billiards while the girls went shopping. The two guys never won a game of 8 ball hehe.

The following morning, we asked the two boys to use the complimentary buffet breakfast while me and Kim went to McDonald's for ours. Nitz and Kraiganne ate left-overs from last night and a recipe we brought to the hotel. Then, Kraiganne went to the hotel's gym to workout while the others and I went swimming. When we were to go home, I asked for the valet to get the car. HAHA, Yes, I brought my dilapidated and unwashed car. The poor valet, who is probably used to fetching very expensive, air-conditioned, automatic cars, was all sweat when he got to us. The kids quickly got inside the car, slammed the doors and didn't open the windows lest they be seen inside by someone they knew. The ingrates were laughing out loud as we rushed away from the hotel.

The kids enjoyed it so much, I think we will do it again. Nice idea, huh? Maybe on our 25th.

So much in love

Today is a very special day. Not only is it my wife's birthday, but it also marks a very important event in my life for on this day in 1985, I got married to the most loving person there is on earth!

I have known my wife for almost twenty-three years! We used to be office mates till I moved out of the campus for a stabler position in the organization we work in. You see, We belong to the same University system. Our love story blossomed from friendship to love amid music we made together with some 18 or so individuals as we were both members of the Staff Chorale where we met.

I have never known a person who is so dedicated and so very willing to abandon her self-interests than my wife. I have just started blogging when I narrated how strong my wife's character is. It's a funny story so you won't be disappointed you read it. You can find it here.

In spite of the very simple living I can offer, she learned manages to find happiness in the very little things we do. She's the person who will say delicious to the simplest dish, the person who will find beauty in the mundane inspite of the fact that she's seen the best, and would give the same hearty laugh at the corniest joke I make. She's a dedicated mother, ready to sacrifice everything just so her children can live comfortably. She has a great foresight and has always been a good manager of the household. Obviously, in our family, she holds the master plan. She used to always have a project lined up for each year. Case in point, just a year after our marriage, she proposed that we bought a house. We did! Simple as it may be, in few more years, we would have finished paying for the amortizations and it's going to be ours completely.

She's the sweetest person I have ever known. When we got together as a couple, we used to go home together until I transferred to Alabang. What I did was pick her up from the office and took her home practically everyday. However, during my 27th birthday, I had a friend who was being picked up by her brother from the office with whom I can hitch a ride and be dropped off at a place near my home in Marikina. I never considered my birthday as significant. So, not really a birhtday person, I called her and told her that I may have to cancel picking her up. Luckily for me, I changed my mind at the last moment. As we reached Alabang proper, I asked my friend to drop me off. I went to her and she was so relieved to have seen me. It turned out that she had prepared something for me in her house. She even whispered in my ear that she told everyone it was my treat! What an asshole I would have been had i missed that, right? Another time was when she woke me up in the middle of the night only to surprise me with her birthday gift. Another surprise she did can be found here

Twenty years after and she's still at it. She's told me to have today and tomorrow free. She told me she's taking the whole family somewhere for an overnight bonding. As of this time, I still have the faintest idea what she's talking about. But knowing her, I know I and the kids are in for a real treat!

So, to my wife, I say, happy birthday and happy anniversary, sweetheart! My love for you has never dwindled but on the contrary, has grown even much stronger through the years.

taking care of an angel

Our main email system in school is being re-decorated, so to speak. Not wanting to lose everything in my mailbox, I opened everything in it and re-sent the same to my new addy. I was amused about an article I wrote for a friend. Actually, it was Zharro, my friend, who asked me to write this for our former co-teacher. I'm putting it here now for safekeeping. Here goes:

Shane did not care about the sumptuous buffet dinner being enjoyed in her honor that peaceful night of July 21, 2003. As a matter of fact, she was unaware of the reason for such gathering. Shane had no idea that Virgie, her mom, had gone to the trouble of inviting all these happy people to celebrate her thirteenth birthday.

The little girl ignored the fact that it was done at posh Bellevue Hotel. The girl didn’t care that the guests were impressed with her hair, which had been styled by a famous and expensive hairstylist. Nor did she take cognizance of the fact that she looked beautiful in her new dress. Most of all, she couldn’t care less that what really caught everybody’s attention was the absence of her usual blank stare. Oh, yes, that familiar stoic stare and detached smile that she usually displayed when she was among strangers.

All Shane knew was that she was deliriously happy because she was with her mother and the rest of the family and close friends. Puberty was knocking on her door and she shined like a princess entertaining guests who rendered homage to their next queen. That night, nobody seemed to notice that Shane was autistic.

We can only admire and marvel at how parents of autistic children, like Virgie, can live through the hassles and bustles of everyday life with that extra burden on their shoulder. Taking care of a normal child is in itself a tedious, sometimes nerve wracking, round-the-clock job. People who have normal children, can only wonder, what it must be like to have to take care of a physically or mentally challenged child. How do they teach them to survive in this hostile world? How do they make them happy?

Simply by showeing them with lots of love and understanding. She was special all right, but not because she is different from everyone else. She is special because she can make people smile with her “little” achievements. She can amaze you with her song and dance numbers. She can melt your heart with her seldom, yet very precious, unrehearsed greetings and words of kindness. She can soften even the hardest of hearts with her genuine laughter. She can make you appreciate life more because she
represents eternal innocence and joy.

The heartache and emotional tests the family faced when they first found out about Shane’s condition were understandable because like everyone else, the family was not well-informed. Through time though they realized that God has chosen them for a reason. Not all families may be able to deal with a young lady as unique as Shane. God indeed does not give a cross one can not bear. He knew that because Virgie had an available source of tremendous support from Mom Bernandina and Dad Merolo, blessing her with a daughter is the greatest gift Virgie will ever receive in her life.

As most families would have viewed it, Shane could be, at times, difficult. However, the challenges they had to face as a family was well worth it. God, in His infinite wisdom, endlessly show them the way to happiness. A lot of times, they do not recognize the signs for He works in very strange ways. Not only did He send His only Son to die on the cross to free the world from sin, but He sends angels like Shane to show the way.

Whoever thought of the politically-correct term “special” for people like Shane is wise for we can not think of any other word that best describes her.

So looking back at this wonderful young lady dancing and laughing, one realizes that she did not need an expensive party in her honor to be happy. Shane has no need for empty praises and promises. She does not need sympathy or apathy and has no use for self-pity. All Shane wants and needs is a warm embrace, acceptance, love, and
understanding. What she needs is to be left alone to be herself in her own world, innocent but perfect for her needs. Respect her private space and she's happy.

Shane and her ilk is God sent. Virgie is one lucky mother, for her job on earth, is not just taking care of an ordinary child, but that of taking care of an angel.

why are there rules?

As expected, the comments in my previous entry about our policy on long hair are two sided. Svelte, transcience, and my co-teacher Joyce, while not admitting that such a policy should be regarded as sound, agree impliedly that it should be followed. On the other hand, the more radical ones, or should I say the "liberals" like Renan, Cerridwen who intimated to me
her feelings on the subject via email as she couldn't post a comment (like i do with most of the sites these days) and the ever outspoken Sassy are totally questioning the validity of the policy. To paraphrase my online and real time friend,Sassy, such a policy runs contrary to the freedom of expression of students. A valid argument, of course.

"So, why do we have such a policy?" you may ask? Many teachers, me included, when asked without warning would probably answer, (and that is because they were caught off guard) "for good grooming purposes!" But then, thinking about it, that is not a valid answer. Hmmm, I can just hear the "pilosopos" beaming with pride and arguing heatedly, "so was Jesus Christ unkempt, then?"

Again, before I proceed, I'd like to start with a disclaimer lest students reading my blog would use this against me. What I am about to say is my own personal opinion and as such, could be at best, a source of a lively discussion, but never to be taken as gospel truth. I have no power to speak in ex-cathedra, hahaha.

Nevertheless, what is clear to me is that inspite of what I believe in, I have been given the duty of custodian of discipline in a school setting, of discipline standards set by the student handbook which I cannot alter and do anything but to observe, enforce and keep. That said, I shall proceed.

My Malaysian friend, Bayi, who is well-known to Filipino bloggers said it best when he commented,

There is a place and a time for everything. At school the students learn discipline and keeping to the rules. Being able to discipline oneself puts the
person in good stead when the need arises and gives him a cutting edge if the other competing parties are not.

Keeping long hair for the sake of doing it is not creativity. If there is no valid reason (what could the reasons be when one is a student?), they are merely rebels without a cause. And when one's a student in high school, it is not the time to be such.

I tend to agree a hundred percent. Freedom is not without boundaries. As we all live side by side, belonging to a social structure dictated by social norms, culture and mores, there are certain rules we have to follow. Freedom should not be used wantonly and at everyone's whims and caprices. Together with freedom is responsibility.

Imagine a world where everybody is free to do anything at will. Chaotic right? It will be a world where one can do as he/she pleases. Where one can park his/her car at any spot, where one can throw his/her garbage anywhere, where one can steal another person's belonging, and worst, where one is free to kill another. That cannot be. Of course, one might argue that this is not what is meant by freedom. But why not? Total freedom, right? Ergo, free for all.

Fortunately, that is not the case. We have set a standard behavior based on our experiences and traditions. Are they all sound? Maybe not, but still, they are accepted standard behavior. Okay, maybe not a good example as non-conformists will always argue that cultural traditions and beliefs are passe. But must we forget that these are the keystones to more organized laws such as those enacted by congress? There you go! Try to disobey the law and surely, there will be repercussions.

How do we learn to follow these rules then? First, by learning how to follow simple ones! The haircut policy may sound trivial and irrational to some, but nevertheless, a standard has been set and such has to be obeyed. Otherwise, we will always find ways and means to go about evading the rules, finding justifications for our actions no matter how wrong they may be. That's what every rude drivers are good at. That's how every ill-mannered, ill-bred persons live.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for academic freedom! I have grown my hair to shoulder length before as it was the fad at the time. And yes, i felt free. But that was in college when I can already distinguish right from wrong and that I was ready to face the consequences of every course of action I take. High school is different. AS teachers in high school, we are supposed to dig a deep foundation for the individual to build his/her character on so that he/she can be ready to face the harsh realities of a very violent world as a result of the ways of "undisciplined" men and women who give in to their weaknesses because they did not know any better.

Rules are meant to be followed

Classes have ended two weeks ago and the school has never felt so quiet and not as nerve wracking as when the students were there. Ironical as it may seem, though,
I had been very busy lately with a lot of things that I have to be remiss with writing and bloghopping. That explains why I had been absent for sometime.

Every end of the schoolyear, students are required to have a clearance signed. This is to ensure that they have completed their requirements for the year. I am one of the signatories to this clearance. Now is the time for me to really make the hard headed ones miserable. You see, there are quite a number of students who just wouldn't follow the prescribed haircut. The standards are very clear. It should neither touch the ears or the collar. This is a more relaxed version since formerly, the haircut should yield a clearing of three inches on the sides and four at the back. The bangs should not touch the eyebrows but that's very easy. One can just apply gel and have it combed up so that it didn't.

Some of these students are just plain hard headed. They wouldn't have a haircut no matter how much I told them to. There came a point that I just have to give up on the warnings knowing full well that payback time is upcoming. What they failed to consider was that had they had a haircut early on, say, three weeks before classes end, then their hair would have grown to a good length during the summer. Now, it would really be a piss off when they have to have a haircut otherwise, they wouldn't be able to get their report cards.

But this is not the real reason why I'm writing this. You see, there are parents who really condone their children's every whim. There was this guy who came to my office this week who was asking me to sign for a kid's clearance. I asked him where the boy was and he said he was busy! Hmmm, something fishy. Thinking that he was the father, I told him that I should see the child first to make sure that he followed the rules. He said, the parents said they wanted him to have his hair long because they're taking him to the States where the weather is cold. "Sir, you see, I have told these kids to have a haircut months before and they wouldn't budge. It is my duty to ensure that they learn how to follow rules and regulations," I said. Showing his impatience, the man said, "And I have been telling you that the parents are the ones asking him to grow his hair because he's going to need it to shield him from the cold weather." I could've argued but since I thought he was the father and that his statements are rhetoric, that he was speaking in the third person to prove a point. I was not in the mood to argue so I told him that "okay, I'll sign it but please make sure that he understands that there are consequences to every action." He said, "Okay, I'll tell his parents!" Then I realized he was just an errand boy!
Obviously, I've been had! Lesson learned.

twas some night!

Last night, my wife and I had a blast with our friends who we consider our extended family. We have been with this group of friends for what it seems to be an eternity and we don't mind. How could we when we are having so much fun with them around. Most importantly, our children get well together with theirs and theirs with ours. We spend all occasions with them. Well, we hang out with them for no reason at all. Last night was a special night though. We celebrated Joven's nth birthday party and party we did! But before that, allow me to give you a glimpse of how big a family we are. The shy (daw) birthday celebrant is at the end to your right. (Not in the picture are Ricky who took it, Redjie and Rolly V. Inside the car was our sleeping beauty, Tetay, who just can't get enough sleep. This was taken during our trip to Subic)


My friends...my family From l-r Vivian,Dante,Agnes,Jenny,Kathy, Ollie,Brad Pitt, Jenhifer Aniston,Edgar and Joven

The party was hosted by his lovely wife, Jenny. We started out with an eating frenzy at the Emerald at Roxas Boulevard. After pigging out on all those food, we decided that the night was still too young (as it always is with this group) and proceeded to Malate to listen to some music and drink some booze. The band's (Acoustic Vibes) crooner, Romy Jorolan, turned out to be Edgar and Vivian's neighbor and we all had a ball with him. The music was so great we stayed until the bar closed at around three a.m. Still spirited, we went for coffee at nearby Cafe Adriatico and finally headed home at 4:00 a.m.

And to think that we have just had a party last February 14 to celebrate Jenny's and Agnes' birthday. The two girls got a suite at Bayview Hotel where we all stayed until check out time. There we hanged out, sang songs, ate and really bombed out in a clean, fun way.


jenny



jenny and agnes 

AS a group, we have gone as far north as Pagudpud and as far south as MArinduque. We make it a point that we have a trust fund just so we can have an assured traveling tour of the country every summer. Last summer, for instance, we went to Isabela, Banawe and toured Tuguegarao. This lent, we are bound for Bicol.

Last week, I read an article that said Filipinos are by far the happiest people on earth. I don't know what the gauge was or if the article was supported by empirical data but I tend to agree with it. The Filipinos' characteristic of having an extended family probably plays a big role in this aspect of life. With this extended family comes a ready made support system and a feeling of acceptance which make us feel secured and eventually, happy. I don't know if I am right but to me, it seems that other races tend to be more individualistic rather than community centered. Whatever the case may be, what I am sure about is that I am glad this is my support group, my extended family.

first there were seven...

The latest addition in cyberlandia is a blog written by a zany group of Filipino bloggers from around the world. Having started out from the exchange of funny emails between Doc Emer, Sassy, Batjay,The Cat, Jet, me and the witty computer manipulations of computer wizard, Polo, Doc Emer got the idea of forming an email group called Bloggingberks on December 7, 2004.

From the initial seven members, the berks grew to its present number of thirty three who constantly exchange notes on various topics under the sun. As to be expected, what would come out from a group of bloggers but a concerted effort to create another blog that would showcase each and everyone's prowess at the written word. The fact that the members of the group are as diverse as anything that is from east to west and everything in between in terms of interests, the blog called blogkadahan: Rebels without because, is written by Filipinos of different ages(hence the diversity in time references), places (with members coming from Manila, US, Singapore, Belgium, Germany, England, New Zealand and Japan) and professions (a lawyer, engineer, housewife, teacher, etc...) making the blog interesting to all sex, age, shape and color.

Come and visit us by clicking the button below.

17 years and going strong!

mickey 

When I got married, I told my wife Nitz, (haha as if there's somebody else) that I am going to have a child who plays the violin. I did! When my eldest boy, Mickey, was in Grade three, he came up to me and told me that he wanted to learn how to play the violin. I quickly signed the form and talked to the teacher if there's a violin that Mickey can use. After a month of palying, here comes my son again asking if he can have his own violin. I told him to go slow as i wanted to know if he really wanted to play the instrument or it was just a passing interest.

So, when Kraiganne would come down the stairs at ten pm complaining about Mickey still playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and MAy Song, starting pieces for the Sukiyaki method, and finding Mickey by listening closely where those squeaky sounds are coming from in every corner of the school, I knew Mickey was dead serious in learning how to play the violin. It was then that we decided to buy him a 1/2 size violin. He was getting good at it from then on. That made my wife write my niece who lives in the States to ask her to buy my son a full size violin. You can just imagine how happy Mickey was upon receiving the "pasalubong" when my niece, Romella, flew in from the States. He's now enrolled at St. Scholastica for advanced studies in violin. He just finished playing in the school's performing arts concert last Thursday. He's got several groups he plays with. He's a member of the school's orchestra, string ensemble and the only junior in the school's string quartet (the rest are Seniors). Much to my surprise, he also played solo during the concert. Dang! Had he told me about it, I would have brought my handycam.

Mickey is very passionate with everything that he finds interesting. He has this deviant art account where he publishes his art, and he's theme and style is fast becoming mature. You'll find it here He also is the one who would call his sister's attention if she raises her foot on the table while eating or anytime she would be doing something he finds improper for a young girl to do. I saw how he can be a real kuya to his younger brother during that Father and Son Camp, how he takes charge in listing all the things they brought, which bag contained what, etc... Man, if only he had the same passion for studying, he would have ended up to be the class valedictorian, ahahaha.

Anyway, he just turned 17 today. My son is now 17 years old. One more year and he won't come to school with me anymore. I just hope I've taught him to be independent well. Happy birthday my son!

Father and Son camp

Every February, me and my boys look forward to one event the school undertakes. The reason it's just me and the boys who are excited over this event is because it's an exclusively "men only" activity. It's an activity that is full of games, adventure, endurance and survival tests, explorations, skills and team building and, most importantly, lots of fun! Yes, this is the activity we call "Father and Son Camp."

The activity is anchored on scouting principles and so is replete with knot tying, water and land games, nature tripping (sometimes having to take a bath in improvised toilets and yes, that also may include "kybo", the scout's term for egesting body wastes), and many more that can be participated in by both the father and the son. Understandably, the biggest benefit of all is the bonding that happens between father and son/s and the camaraderie that is built between the campers. You see, we always divide the participants into different patrols. The patrols are very impressive this year. They now have incorporated galleries showcasing trophies and medals garnered from past years, tools, a segregated waste disposal, an altar, and a clinic.

This year, we went to Blueroze Farms and wildlife in Lodlod, Lipa City. It's a big coconut plantation with lots of space, a swimming pool, a maze and assorted animals like ostriches, wild boars, different species of fowls, turtles, an eagle, and a tweny or thirty foot python. We thought we would be in for a spectacle when the caretaker threw a live chicken on the python but the python didn't eat the whole time we watching. I swear I must've waited for hours with my heart pounding like crazy everytime the snake moved but it didn't happen. I even went back in the middle of the night but prey and hunter were both sleeping. The following day, I came back but the chicken was already gone.

This camping was a revelation to me. The good news is that I get to bond with my children for free because I am a member of the staff who assists the legendary founder of the FS camp, Mr. Moses Lozada, the thing is we couldn't join any of the games. The revelation is that I got to see how close the brothers are. While I can see that my two girls are very very close, I haven't the idea that these two would be just as close. Whereever Mickey went, Coby would tag behind. I even caught up with them where Coby sat silently alongside his brother who was drawing a composition in his sketch pad, making suggestions here and there. That made me borrow another sketchpad (he brought two) and sit down with them and practice sketching, too.

Another revelation is how Mickey is turning out to be responsible. He took the lead in putting up and striking down the igloo tent (thanks to my compare, Redjie Jimenez who owns it) and fixing our things inside. As always, lessons in life is learned in all the experiences we encounter and I'm glad I had done this again with my two boys.

Netiquette on blogging

Since the advent of the computer, communication between individuals has been raised to a much higher degree. If we are to believe guru Alvin Toffler we are now in another age known as the age of information.

Finally, the age of information! Don't you find it interesting that in the course of our history as a human race, the age of information should only surface at this day and age? I feel we are a bit late as wars could have stopped had we mastered the art of proper communications early on. But as it is, we were more pre-occupied with war (stone and metal ages), making things a lot easier for us (wheel and the industrial revolution) and soaring to new heights (space age) that we forgot the most basic tool given us by the Great Provider which is the ability to communicate.

Late or not, communicating with one another is a lot faster today where interaction between two or more parties is more instantaneous. As a consequence of the computer revolution, the world becomes smaller as people all over the globe can interact with one another at a much faster rate. Other than the email, one of the offshoots of the internet is blogging. Blogging started out as a personal diary where one records daily events online which later on developed into personal commentaries on current events, personal notes on issues, etc. As Andrew Sullivan puts it, "But there are also news blogs and commentary blogs, sites packed with links and quips and ideas and arguments that only months ago were the near-monopoly of established news outlets. Poised between media, blogs can be as nuanced and well-sourced as traditional journalism, but they have the immediacy of talk radio." Blogging has been so popular it has been dubbed as person of the year in 2004.

Just like any other undertaking man indulges in, there is certain code of ethics that we should follow if we want to join the bandwagon of bloggers who interact with one another. Arlene Rinaldi writes about "The Core Rules of Netiquette" and these can be found here.

I am a relatively new blogger having started in January of 2004. And in the course of my blogging, I have befriended a lot of intelligent, talented and warm people I would not have known had I not started with this endeavor. I have also learned a lot of lessons along the way and as the teacher that I am, I would like to share them with you so that you can enjoy the benefits I have reaped, in the course of what I would say, my writing career. :-)

1. People will eventually read what you write. When I started blogging, I never thought I would be read by other people. I was thinking that the blogs I read which have comment boxes actually had comments from readers because they are established writers and have been blogging for a long time. I was insecured and paranoid that what i have written was pure garbage and that I was late in joining the ride. As anybody who writes, I needed affirmation, a pat on the back that what I have written is not for naught. But how? It took me sometime to figure out that in order for me to be known in blogosphere, I would have to go out and invest time. And that i did. I commented on blogs and eventually, they, too came for a visit and stayed. Now, I still visit new sites as it is through this means that I discover wonderful people and excellent writers, thinkers and opinion makers. I comment on them and yes, they come to me, too. This world is full of wonderful people.

2. Be origina! Remember these lines? "Listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant, they, too have their story." Why blog if you haven't a thing to say yet? It is a mortal sin to plagiarize. Copying another's work and passing it as your own is a big no-no! You are not only dishonest to other people, you are being dishonest to yourself Remember, we ahve different outlooks in life, different experiences, different backgrounds. Write about them, somewhere out there, there will be someone who will be interested. I think I have covered this extensively here

3. Be nice! This is the crux of the entire post. I have had occasion to ahve read nasty comments from readers in other blogs which were really way below the belt. For whatever reason, there are readers out there who find it fun to irritate a blog owner by putting nasty comments. If you get your rocks off by doing that, you are one perverted, pathetic soul. Example, "implying that going abroad is a sure way of a husband and wife eventually separating" is nasty. You are not helping the couple ease their pain but only aggravate the loneliness they feel for the absence of one another. I shall give that commenter the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just trying to be funny as the blog owner in particular is popular for his funny antics and writings. That's fine. Maybe you are trying to out do the blogowner or just plainly wanted to share the fun. But we must remember that we all have varying degrees of humor sense. It could be possible that we don't have it at all. So, my suggestion is to read and re-read your comments before hitting that "post" button. I know I may have posted something that was inappropriate one time or another but it was either unintentional or that I dind't know any better. Believe me I couldn't sleep when it dawned on me that i've hurt someone. But at least, I identified myself. The offended party can always get back to me and if the complaint has merit, I can and will apologize. That's the main problem with these nasty commenters. They hide under an alias and post anonymously. That's very cowardly.

I am still lucky I haven't gotten a nasty comment yet. But who knows? My blog had been threatened before. During the height of the Patricia Evangelista controversy, my good friend the Cat was ganged up in a forum where they threatened that I and other good friends Batjay and Sassy shall be next. Should that happen, i know what i am going to do. I am not going to argue and give you the fun that you long for. I have my picture and my children's pictues in this blog which make me very vulnerable. I wouldn't erase your post as i want people to know how rude you are but i won't dignify your nasty comment with a reply. If you are picking up a fight, go someplace else as you're not getting any from me.

3.

pinoy poets

At last! I finally hooked up with Filipino poets, thanks to fellow blogger and now, friend, poet Jardine Davies in last night's general assembly and poetry reading at juliano's. Of course, I do have my own writing group and I'm proud of them, but none of them could speak my language, read as "my soul" for they are either Americans or Canadians. Why shouldn't I be proud of my original poet friends when it was through their patient tutelage and proddings that I discovered I can understand, feel and breathe poetry! Most of all, it was through them that I first realized that the internet is not composed of cold geeks but of people who care.

When my American friends got word that I was going to Canada to visit my best friend, Arlene, owner of this ezine, they immediately packed their bags, got on the next plane to Vancouver and came to meet with me. How can I ever forget my meeting with Tom Spencer and his wife Kathy, Karli Shanklin and her Fil-Am hubby Alfredo, Molly Critchlow and Canadians from Manitoba, Glennis and Harry Hobbs? It was truly a joyous one week celebration that got Arlene so inspired, she prepared an off-season Thanksgiving party in May right after we had given a poetry reading at Serendipity room to some 14 walk-in guests.

So, you might think that last night was nothing new to me, right? Wrong! I have never come close to a real Filipino poet except those who had been my professors in graduate school. So, you see, my impression of Filipino writers are super "laiteros" who would have nothing good to see in my work, (should I gather enough guts to show it to them), throw it to the ground and stomp on it to tiny, little pieces before tossing it to the garbage can. And I wasn't even studying to be a writer under them, mind you. I was trying to learn literature! How I got the idea of enrolling in a language and literature masters program after ten years or so of having graduated from Fine Arts is beyond me.

I don't know but I have this feeling that Filipinos, much more artists, are very very hard to please. It's like, "uhm, I bet you, their pee is a lot higher and farther than mine" and believe me, with men, it's always about who can pee the highest and the farthest... Who has bigger balls, uhm, better yet, whose got the biggest peter around!!! Well, the General Assembly for "pinoy poets" and the first poetry reading was set and I said to myself, I better do this or forget about poetry. My only consolation was that Jardine will be there and I knew the guest poet, Sid Gomez Hlldawa, a poet and painter par excellance. I have worked with him before when he was curating Kulay Diwa and I had my students exhibit their best works there.

So, while I was on my way to Shangri-la mall, the agreed meeting place, I was kind of a nervous wreck not knowing what to expect once I'm in front of all these young, very talented, word weavers. (peeps, that's a term I borrowed from writersvillage before plagiarists get the wrong idea that it's okay to just borrow words and/or ideas without acknowledging where they were taken from) Once I got to the place and as soon as I shook the hand of the first guy introduced to me, I knew I was home. All my fears vanished for none of them fit my stereotype of a writer. They had smiles all the way to their ears and not even one of them was a snob.

The poetry reading was a success. Gee, I was even asked to read a Tagalog poem by a very beautiful, young poet by the name of Kathline Tolosan and even got to jam and play some blues with Jardine, and two others who I wouldn't dare identify at this time lest I commit a mistake. Should I say I enjoyed myself, having stayed until two in the morning? So, if there are any poets out there lurking in silence, why not check us out? You can access the site here!

Fourteen years hence!

Coby

Today is my youngest son's birthday. Fourteen years ago, at this time, my wife was huffing and puffing air out of her system. Coby is, she believes, the hardest of them all. It was a breach birth (or whatever is the term used for that kind of birth). The doctors were baffled because though they felt the baby to be round, it didn't feel like the head. They ran xrays and found out its the butt that's going out first.

Coby, young as he is, is trying to find his place in the sun. Like his siblings, he's independent and has a mind of his own. He's more into sports. He did try the violin and even gave a recital but because his kuya is deep into it already, I believe he wants to something else. Sports! That's what preoccupies him. He plays basketball constantly and trained in swimming. You should see him do the breaststroke. While all the children in my family swim, he swims the longest and the fastest.

One of the amusing stories I tell about him is that episode where he had a crush while he was in Grade 5. First, he asked his mom to buy him Ferrero Roche chocolates. The big one! This made his sisters quip, "Naku Coby, tama na ang chocnut no!" All this happening behind my back. Then Christmas time, he asked his mom again to buy him a teddy bear. When my wife picked up a small one, he refused and picked a bigger one and a lot more expensive. His mother gave in. My wife secretly showed it to me and whispered, "your son is becoming to be a man now, look!" And then shows me the teddy bear. Now comes the eve of the school's Christmas party. I went to the gifts section of the house and pretended i didn't know a thing. I picked up the teddy bear (now wrapped) and asked, "Ma, who's gift is this?" Coby ran to his mother inside the kitchen and giggling, blaming his mom for not keeping the gift.
Then, he went out and guiltily pointed at Kim. "That's for Kim from her secret admirer!" Kim looked at Coby and said, "You want me to tell the truth?" I was already laughing at this time.

Dinner time, Nitz, my wife, forgot all about it and reminded the children about the gifts they're bringing to school for friends. She goes, "Fix your bags early and put the gifts inside them so that you won't forget anything tomorrow." And the clincher, "Coby, have you put the your teddy bear in your bag?" At that, I shouted, "GOTCHA!!!" Coby was so red in the face.

The following day, I spoke to Coby man to man. "How did you decide you wanted to give her a teddy?" Then he answered, "She asked for it." I said, "Wow! She must be your girlfriend already, no?" He smiled and said, "No, I'm just starting to court her."

Funny no?

Happy Birthday Coby! We all love you very much!

Giving credit where credit is due!

AS you know, I have been an Art teacher for the past twenty years. As an Art teacher, allow me to share some misconceptions about my profession. First, while it would seem that I am teaching my students to draw or paint, that is really not the main focus of my lessons. I believe it is unfair for a student to receive a failing mark simply because he/she does not have the talent for drawing. Any student of mine would tell you that I am not very stingy with grades. As a matter of fact, during a reunion party, several alumni who said hello intimated that my subject was their ticket to make their average higher.

There are several ways where one can receive a very good grade from me. When I say high, I really mean high. Grades ranging from 92 - 100. Yes, I even give a grade of 100. There are only two criteria for a student to get within this range. First, that the work is truly outstanding or, a relatively mediocre work but which I know was done diligently and with a lot of effort by a student to meet the requirements of the project. At the other end of the scale, a student can also fail in my class. This may be seldom but a student will if: 1) he/she failed to submit the project and no attempt has been done to make up for it, or 2) he/she submitted something which is not his/hers.

I had been telling my students that I would prefer for them to hand in the ugliest (if there is such a thing) piece of art work as long as they made it for they would still pass, even get a good grade for it rather than submit an excellent project but was made by somebody else. More than anything, I have to teach them the value of hard work and gaining confidence and self-respect and pride over their capabilities.

Claiming somebody else's project as yours is wrong. That is intellectual dishonesty or to be blunt about it, thievery. And it has a name. It's called plagiarism. The reason I'm writing this is because it seems that there are people who think they can do away with murder and go unnoticed in the internet. I'm talking about Sassy's food blog being stolen and passed off as somebody else's. You can read the article here Sure, it's as easy as copying and pasting a work to another window but is the facility by which it can be done a license to plagiarize? Surely not! How hard is it to acknowledge the real owner of the piece? And that is all that is required;. That we give credit to where credit is due! As a result of this phenomenon in pinoy blogging, a fellow blogger condemns the practice lest other unscrupulous people would have any idea of doing the same. You can read the Cat's take on the subject here.

It really amazes me how someone can steal another's work and put the same on his website. Where's the dignity in that? Does one feel pride in the accolades of people who do not know that what they aer applauding for was stolen? How would a plagiarist feel if suddenly he/she is found out? As far as I'm concerned, there are two people who can answer these questions now. And you know who you are! Shame on you. Had you been my students, you would have gotten a zero in my class...Blogging Ethics 101!

A gamble I took and should not lose!

This is one post i wouldn't let my children read. At least, not for the moment. So, if there's any student of mine who knows any of my children, please don't divulge the information I am about to reveal. Now, that's a very simple request, right? I hope you take heed. Thanks.

I have blogged about my decision to quit smoking. It's part of this entry. So, I've been doing some counting and realize I had been smoke free for more than two months now. Quitting is no easy task especially during Christmas when i met for the first time my idol bloggers Sassy, Jet and BongK, who smoke. I could feel every puff they made and was almost tempted to ask for a stick from Bong. Good thing was that Batjay was also there. He had quit eight months ago after an appendectomy. I was thinking, if he can do it, so can I.

Anyway, there's a reason why I had to quit. During one of my trips to my diabetologist/endocrinologist, he suggested I have my thyroid checked by ultra sound. I did. The test yielded that I have several lumps on my thyroid glands again. I have already been operated on for tumors which, fortunately, proved to be benign after the biopsy. So, thinking that I might only aggravate further the lumps on my throat, I decided to quit.

Now comes to the picture my third child, Kim. From among my children, she is the one who is super "lambing" to me. However, like any other teen-ager, she tends to be laxed with her studies. Sure, she's had her glory in some school contests like this one. But generally, she wouldn't even touch her books on a weekend. Naturally, she was getting poor grades in important subjects like Math, and Science.

She had been pestering me about my smoking. She would even tell me it seemed like I didn't love them for I didn't care for my health. (medyo articulate talaga yun e. Maarte na, makulit pa.) Then an idea hit me. One time we were together, I told her I was going to quit smoking if she would be serious with her studies. I asked her to calculate how much grade she has to earn for the third ter so that she could get a really good grade. Afer some calculations, she came up with 90! So, we entered a deal. If she gives me a 90 on practically all her subjects on the final term, then I am definitely going to quit. (Of course by this time, I have already quit for about a week). Now comes the hard part. I realized this ploy might have some adverse effect. First, what if she failed to deliver and I failed in my resolve? What would be the effect of that on her? Will she blame herself for my weakness? Certainly, that would not be fair. If, on the other hand, she pushes through and I didn't? What will that become of me? Her image of me might crumble and she may lose her respect for me. Lastly, what if she didn't push through? Will i have to smoke again to prove a point? These are the questions I have to find an answer to. I definitely regret having made that pact with Kim but since I already did, I know I have to turn this into a win-win situation. sigh!!!

Rite of Passage!

mickey 

Coby 

Father and Sons 

It has always been said that the children are nothing but the parents all over again, only better. Here are pictures of my two boys. Mickey is the artist. He plays the violin. Been doing that since he was in grade three. He is a member of the school's symphony orchestra and one of the quartet who plays in concerts and school activities. As a visual artist, he paints using all sort of medium and is a member of deviant art. You can view his works here. Coby, on the other hand, is the youngest of the brood of four. He is the athlete among the lot. He belongs to the training team in swimming in school and plays basketball well. The last one is yours truly, when I was about their age. Can you see the resemblance? i have written a poem which I would like to share here. This was written right after the three of us had gone home after a three day camping trip to Makiling during the school's Father and Son camp. This has been published online. You'll find it here Hope you enjoy the pictures and the poem as well. Here goes:

Rites of Passage

I have camped on
these grounds when
I was young,
braved the thick forest
to test if I
could be a man.

Leaves relentlessly fall
raining down on my tent
weave a golden mat on the dirt
just like it did before.

Insects stubbornly
invade the silence
unfazed by the dark night
or the snores from
other fathers
tending their sons.

Inside my tent
two growing boys
saturated with play
innocently asleep
carelessly sprawled
on the sleeping bag.

How I envy the trees
defying the wind outside
with each offspring
a success,
they stand
sturdy and proud.

I come back
to camp on these grounds
once more
to test if I
can be a father
to these youthful boys.

Knockin' on heaven's door

I just visited my mom yesterday and I just realized how bad her dementia is getting to be. For those of you who are not yet in the know, she's suffering from alzheimer's disease. I've written several poems about my mther's condition. If you care to have a look at one of them, you'll find one here I know it's dementia as she's seeing people not visible to us, more often now. Yesterday, while I was playing mah jongg with my siblings and a cousin, I overheard my mom softly moaning, crying in despair in her bed. My kuya told me it's just natural for her to be doing that. I stood up to check her out. She said she didn't know what to answer the "lady over there." I asked, "Why? What's her question?" "I don't know. She keeps on asking me questions. Told me she's my mother."

That gave me a scare. No, I don't believe in ghosts. I am not outrightly rejecting the possibility of their existence but I have yet to see one and at this time. (I don't want to be disproved, though hehehe) At any rate, this reminds me of my dying father. He was in my sister's arms inside the cab enroute to the hospital during that fatal first heart attack. He told my siblings that he was seein his mother (my grandmother) and some relatives long gone. Now, I've heard that story quite too often now and not only here in the country but in other cultures as well.

What does this tell me? SEveral things. First, this death experience must be true. It gives me a glimpse of what death is all about. To me, it is a passing on to another dimension. A dimension that we have yet to learn fully about but will never do. If I am to believe there's another dimension out there, then what is it? Heaven? Probably. Isn't it nice to know that there's life after death? I'd like to believe that. Although it won't eradicate my fear of death, it alleviates its existence.

Going back to my mother, she kept on insisting that there's a woman by the door. I told her there's nobody. Then she cried in terror and asked, "what is she then, a ghost?" "No, didn't she tell you who she was?" "YEs, she said she's my mother. I think I'm going to die!""No, you're not! I am here," held her hand and brushed her hair with my other hand. And she was probably soothed as she kept quiet. Then I realized, in spite of my mother's age, she is as clueless as a teen ager when her time will come. I've heard people talking in wakes about how the departed had managed to say goodbye to their loved ones before dying. Maybe we do realize it at the last moment, I don't know.

Looking at my mother, healing bed sores and all, the third thing I realized is that if this is what getting old is, I don't want any part of it. I want to live as long as I am lucid and kicking. But once I become a burden to my family, then, I think it is time to go. God help me, but I hope my dead relatives pick me up immediately. In the meantime, I have a mother to attend to. A mother who will be celebrating her birthday tomorrow. (A birthday that doesn't mean anything to the celebrant.) A mother who embraced me during the times I was afraid. Took me to school, took good care of me. Cooked me wonderful meals, teased, encouraged and most of all, loved me very much. God! I want my old mother back.

it's Jet's birthday!

I just have to write about it. Today's the birthday of a very good friend, both in cyberspace and in flesh and blood. A kindred in spirit, she, according to her amiable husband, has a very infectious laugh like I do. Well, maybe I don't have that infectious laughter but I do love to laugh. I love to see people being very happy. I appreciate people who has a good sense of humor and i dread being with a person who never knew how to laugh. Keep me in a room with a boring guy or a woman who does not know how to smile and I assure you, i'd rather jump off the windows and die.

Well, anyway, Jet as we fondly call her, is a lady you would certainly want to see laughing all the time. If only to lighten up a hectic day, her smile is enough to to keep your worries away. I didn't even have to try hard to see her laughing to tears. She's a natural. When she laughs, all her muscles contribute and you feel the sincerity with that laughter and you become pleased with yourself. Yes, she gives without any effort whatsoever. All she has to do is be herself.

Jet, I raise my glass of cabernet to cheer you on your special day. I'm sure your hubby has lined up a lot of tricks just to pamper you more today than he does every minute of your life. Happy birthday!

I was pissed!

Now that it's been two days ago, I can tell about how angry I was last Tuesday. I had to let go off some steam lest i write something very unpleasant and ruin your day. You see, since last year I have noticed this red CRV car in the school's parking lot parked almost sideways occupying two car spaces in my favorite parking space. The first time, I reasoned, either the driver was in a hurry or s/he didn't know how to park the car properly. Must've been a new driver. Well, anyway, it was way too early so I had a lot of spaces to choose from. My first reaction was to look for the owner and tease him/her about the way s/he parks his/her car. i realized later that the car does not belong to any co-worker or even a student. It leaves right after the morning mass is over. You see, we've opened the chapel to residents of the village, and some do hear mass there regularly, the owner
of that red car included. After seeing the same car parked the same way for five times, it dawned on me. The driver doesn't want any other car besides his/hers.

I so much wanted to leave a message on his windshield that goes like, "if you can read this, you will park your car properly next time." I still haven't gotten the guts to do it. Almost did last Tuesday, though. I was taken by surprise that the SLEX would have a counterflow with the southbound vehicles. For some reason or another, some schmuck in the SLEX hierarchy's solution to the heavy traffic for northbound commuters is to open the southbound track and run counter to the flow. Well, he decongested the northbound to about 5 per cent of very lucky drivers alright but totally immobilized us till the end of the Skyway ramp delaying us by some thirty minutes or more. Should I mention that we're all paying a huge sum for
using the highway? Why will they be special? Wby do it at our expense?

Anyway, I was running late that day so who do you think would be happy seeing the red car parked haphazardly again? Just because I had to back out and find another parking space which was almost filled by now, I was late for five minutes. Not a good sign to someone who's in charge of giving out excuse slips for tardiness, is it?

So, to all you drivers out there, be considerate and responsible. It's time that we learn respect and road courtesy.

Huling Hirit

My good friend Batjay and his adorable wife, Jet are headed to go home to Singapore tomorrow, January 5. Somehow, I am saddened that they have to leave the country for as always, I equate their presence with lots and lots of fun! But as it is, everybody will have to earn a living and their source of income is in Singapore.

Anyway, we had another chance to meet last night and again, with several bloggers whom I've befriended since I've started blogging.

First to arrive (ayan doc ha) was the good doctor Doc Emer and his animated and lovely soulmate Jane who we have been urging to start her own blog, Soon after, we were joined in by master storyteller Bong K and Giordano model look alike Mari.

Also in attendance were new friends, the captivatingly beautiful Toni and her hubby, the bubbly and artsy Tanya and the very endearing
Din

Unfortunately, supermom and pinay expat emag owner Melissa was a no show. Must've been stranded with the celebs she was interviewing.

Anyway, as always, we had lots and lots of fun and parted ways at around 1 am.
See you again soon guys. And to my dear friends, Batjay and Jet, bon voyage tomorrow. Can't wait till you get back again.

Several nights after Christmas

What I like about Christmas is that it seems to be unending. This is especially true in the Philippines where the Yuletide season starts as soon as the "ber" months arrive and ends on January 6 to celebrate the visit of the Three Magis. Now that is one long season, isn't it?

This Christmas season is very memorable for me as a blogger because it was at this same month when I first opened my first blog Soft Grumbles. So, in a way, I am celebrating my first anniversary in this line of interest. One year of blogging and I am now friends with some of the most prolific writers in blogosphere, owners of the most sought after blogs in the county today. Who wouldn't know about the sites of The Sassy Lawyer or the famous medical journal of Doc Emer and of course, the very scientific explanations of Batjay on what would seem to be the most mundane of things to mortals like us?

But what really makes this Christmas season a very important one is that I got to meet with some of the bloggers in person! It started out at Batjay's house on the 22nd of this month where I first met with Belle and Sassy and got to experience Jet's fantastic tiramisu, pancit bihon and her mom's awesome "lengua" on white sauce.

And then it happened!

Last night, the party of all parties, the bloggers' Christmas party where each one of us finally became flesh and bones rather than mere obscure individuals on the internet came to fruition. Hosted by pinoyblog.com, the party was spearheaded by the animated plughost owner Yuga and Sassy who was joined by her hubby and children, at the Cabalen restaurant at Mega mall. It was a get together of some twentyish very interesting people, who are the who's who in blogdom. I first met up with master storyteller Bong K who graciously picked me up from the house. At Mega mall, we joined forces with Batjay and Jet at Tia Maria. We proceeded to Cabalen at exactly 7:00 pm. The bloggers arrived one at a time after that. Last to arrive was the good doctor and his special soulmate who seemed to be updated with everyone's blogs as she can relate to any topic that only the bloggers would have known. Obviously, she's been reading our blogs.

Although the food was not that spectacular, the company was. Since Toni who was supposed to provide the name tags for the event cancelled at the last moment, we were left to our own ingenuity by first using table napkins which later on developed to post-it stickers for name tags. Need I mention we looked pathetic which made me think the owners of Cabalen must be wondering if we had the ability to pay for dinner. Dinner was had with hearty laughter recalling who said what in his/her own blog and the like. Soon after, we exchanged gifts and thought that the night was still young at ten and decided to proceed to Starbucks at the Podium. There, we agreed to come up with several gimmicks for pinoyblog like giving awards for the best something. Unfortunately, as the cliche goes, good things also have to last. We called it quits at 1:00 am. It was truly a night to remember.

Let me see if I can stretch my failing recall and mention each one of the attendees. I'm leaving the posting of pictures with the others. I'm sure Batjay will have one.

There's that dashing lawyer, Marvin Aceron, the tall and as good looking as Giordano models Mari and Ajay, proud father Apol the great, Edu Manzano look alike, Watson, owner of pinayexpat,amiable AnP who just flew in from Germany with hubby and yes, her son, regular commenter Enya, sexy Mec who came in with a former student of mine (i started teaching very very young you see), the always elegant Joyce Jimenez, fresh graduate from La Salle, rocker Karla, soft spoken doctor and well-mannered Julsitos, enticing conversationalist Lorna Dahl and the mysterious Vixen lady.

So there, I hope I have remembered everyone. If I have missed out on anybody, please holler. Matanda na po ako e.