A gamble I took and should not lose!
This is one post i wouldn't let my children read. At least, not for the moment. So, if there's any student of mine who knows any of my children, please don't divulge the information I am about to reveal. Now, that's a very simple request, right? I hope you take heed. Thanks.
I have blogged about my decision to quit smoking. It's part of this entry. So, I've been doing some counting and realize I had been smoke free for more than two months now. Quitting is no easy task especially during Christmas when i met for the first time my idol bloggers Sassy, Jet and BongK, who smoke. I could feel every puff they made and was almost tempted to ask for a stick from Bong. Good thing was that Batjay was also there. He had quit eight months ago after an appendectomy. I was thinking, if he can do it, so can I.
Anyway, there's a reason why I had to quit. During one of my trips to my diabetologist/endocrinologist, he suggested I have my thyroid checked by ultra sound. I did. The test yielded that I have several lumps on my thyroid glands again. I have already been operated on for tumors which, fortunately, proved to be benign after the biopsy. So, thinking that I might only aggravate further the lumps on my throat, I decided to quit.
Now comes to the picture my third child, Kim. From among my children, she is the one who is super "lambing" to me. However, like any other teen-ager, she tends to be laxed with her studies. Sure, she's had her glory in some school contests like this one. But generally, she wouldn't even touch her books on a weekend. Naturally, she was getting poor grades in important subjects like Math, and Science.
She had been pestering me about my smoking. She would even tell me it seemed like I didn't love them for I didn't care for my health. (medyo articulate talaga yun e. Maarte na, makulit pa.) Then an idea hit me. One time we were together, I told her I was going to quit smoking if she would be serious with her studies. I asked her to calculate how much grade she has to earn for the third ter so that she could get a really good grade. Afer some calculations, she came up with 90! So, we entered a deal. If she gives me a 90 on practically all her subjects on the final term, then I am definitely going to quit. (Of course by this time, I have already quit for about a week). Now comes the hard part. I realized this ploy might have some adverse effect. First, what if she failed to deliver and I failed in my resolve? What would be the effect of that on her? Will she blame herself for my weakness? Certainly, that would not be fair. If, on the other hand, she pushes through and I didn't? What will that become of me? Her image of me might crumble and she may lose her respect for me. Lastly, what if she didn't push through? Will i have to smoke again to prove a point? These are the questions I have to find an answer to. I definitely regret having made that pact with Kim but since I already did, I know I have to turn this into a win-win situation. sigh!!!