Honor or horror?

Honor is very important. It must be to any person living in a civilized society. A person without honor is nothing. A person can be a billionaire and be nothing if he/she is devoid of honor. Honor is the credit of distinction given to a person whose life is governed by honesty, fairness and integrity. As such, honor can neither be bought nor sought from anyone. It is freely given to a person worthy of such admiration.

Honor is very important to the Japanese. To them, losing face is the penultimate opposite of honor. In ancient Japan, warriors called samurai lived by a certain code called Bushido, a stern code of ethics one of which was when one is disgraced or loses face, the only recourse was seppuku or what we popularly know as hara kiri, a ceremonial ritual of suicide by ripping the abdomen apart by means of a knife called tanto or a short Japanese sword known as the wakizashi. This is done for the firm belief that death is more honorable than a life in shame. Usually, when the deed is done, an assistant finishes the job by severing the head with the famous katana. While this practice was banned in 1868, there had been cases of seppuku in modern Japan. The last recorded seppuku was that committed by Yukio Mishima, a Japanese writer who wanted to regain the traditions of the past. Traces of this ancient belief still holds true to some devoted Japanese. There was a public official who, on a mere charge of being corrupt, committed the act.

Here in the Philippines, it is totally different. Many politicians have been charged of corruption with a great deal of evidences enough to prove guilt but manage to stay on. No less than GMA, the former president of the Philippines and members of her family have been riddled with corruption charges but still hanged on to power until her reign ended in 2010. She had been charged of having cheated during the elections to which she merely apologized and continued to rule the land. The ousted President Estrada had been found to be guilty of corruption and was even incarcerated but managed to get out by virtue of presidential pardon (maybe to set a precedent so that when her time comes, the present president will have no doubts as to his/her ability to grant such pardon, who knows?)and even ran for the highest position in the land once more.

Such kapalmuks (thick-skinned faced) characteristic is not lost to other government officials. During the SONA of PNoy, he unravelled how much the managers of the MWSS had arrogated themselves almost equal to 30 months pay and building houses on land which should have been used to plant trees. These managers impliedly gave credence to the accusation when they replied that they were willing to cut down on their fat bonuses! This was during a time of the dismal performance of the MWSS to solve the water shortage problem causing havoc in some areas of Metro Manila. Considering the time and place the alleged anomaly was said, they should have resigned immediately at the very least and/or returned what they have allegedly put into their pockets and have their houses demolished just to save face. But no, they were just willing to shave it off. The allegation of plagiarism in the Supreme Court is another noteworthy phenomenon that is enough to lose one's face. Not only did the verdict contained plagiarized items, the same was misused to argue against the very stance the plagiarized portions were written for. How can we teach the young about the evil of plagiarism when the highest court itself is guilty of the crime?

Then there is the office of the Ombudsman. Is spite of the very strong clamor for her to resign or be ousted in office, she continues to cling to her post like a komodo dragon hanging on for dear life. She has been accused on merely sitting on the cases filed against the Arroyos and considering that she was a classmate of the First Gentleman in college, puts a cloud on her inaction or sin of omission. She would declare lack of evidence putting finality on the charges of corruption. Why? I think it would have been more prudent for her to let the cases be heard in court for the sake of the people and, as ironic as it may seem, even in fairness to the Arroyos. If indeed, there had been no anomaly there, so be it. But for heaven’s sake, let the truth come out.

For delicadeza’s sake, she should have resigned from office to erase any and all doubts surrounding her person. Instead, she is hell bent to square it off with anyone who challenges her to date even when her so-called protectors are no longer in office and their allies in congress, the once strong Lakas-Kampi, has been reduced to be the minority.

Incidentally, speaking of the minority, they claim that the Truth commission formed by PNoy is unconstitutional for it is only Congress who can create such a commission. Granting that is true. I say to Congress, form one already!

Honor has been lost to most of these politicians and government officials a long time ago. I am just glad I am not one. I may barely have enough food on the table at times but the food we eat is sufficient to nourish my family and not cause us any ailment for we eat what we earned through hard work. There is honor in that.

What to do

To the two kind souls who commented on my "What to do" article, I thank you for your words. I did not intend to publish the story and was just using this medium to write down my sentiments and have it transferred into my file. I can't write anything legible anymore since the coming of the computer. :)

May the Lord be with you and let us all have peace in our hearts. Thanks.

All's well that ends well

I have said more than once that the only reason I keep a blog is to keep my memoirs for the succeeding generations of my family. As I am not a rich man who can leave huge estates to my children, I only have my memories, my thoughts as a legacy for them to know how I lived and how I reacted to things around me hoping it could serve as a guide for them.


That being said, let me narrate the events that happened to me and my wife awhile back. Most of my friends knew about this especially my good friend,
Doc Emer and my nephew, Dr. Manny Glorioso with whom I was in constant communication through the entire ordeal I suffered while this was happening.


Let me narrate it from the very beginning. On May 16, Sunday, my wife was complaining about her tummy, thinking she may have been suffering from diarrhea and/or indigestion. That was a day prior to her one week stay in Batangas for work. She thought she was feeling better the following day, so she went ahead with her assignment and bag in tow, left in the early morning of May 17. Everything was fine until I received a text message from her that Thursday morning that she was not feeling well and was taken to a Tagaytay hospital. There, they ran a few tests and these yielded that she was suffering from LBM and nothing more.


Come Friday, she was still not feeling well. Things got really bad that on May 25, she was accompanied by her sister to St. Luke’s at the Fort to have her examined. She was advised to be confined but since St. Luke’s was fairly new, they could not accept HMO holders. It was then that they decided to go to Medical City. We stayed there for a while thinking she would be out in only a few days. However, the stomach cramps kept on pestering her especially during the wee hours of the morning. It was then that her attending physician decided that she underwent an ultra sound of her abdomen. She did and the result was that she had gall stones and needed to undergo an operation.


She had her operation on the night of May 31st. Thinking that it would be a normal, perfunctory procedure, I went home after seeing her on her way to the operating room, gave her a kiss and left her with my eldest sister who was kind enough to be with her during her confinement as I had to report for work. That night, I was constantly texting my sister to ask how my wife was. Nothing. Until I received a call from her at midnight. She told me that the surgeon requested for her to come down the OR as he had something very important to tell her. Shakily, (who wouldn’t be afraid having to face a surgeon who called for you in the middle of the night to reveal something very important to you?) she went not expecting anything at all. She narrated that the doctor told her that the operation went well and that he had extracted the whole gall bladder off my wife. However, he discovered that there were plenty of fluid in her stomach which could only mean two things: tuberculosis or cancer. As part of the protocol, he probed into my wife’s organs, tried to fill for mass in each one and found nothing. To be sure, he also asked his assistant to do the same for a second opinion. Nothing. So, they closed her up, took out a sample of the fluid for testing.


That morning, I immediately called my nephew who is an oncologist based in Zamboanga. He told me what to expect and asked if they can run a few tests, notably a CA 125, a tumor marker. The good thing about it is that the attending physician, Dr. John Querol, was also an oncologist and luckily, a friend of my nephew. He was the one who took care of my sister, my nephew’s mother, while she was alive. My nephew called him and they conferred and my nephew said he was told that the amount of liquid was minimal (contrary to the surgeon’s claim at this point).


They ran a CA 125 test and my nephew said that if the reading would be more than 80, she may have a tumor in her ovaries. It is needless to say that I was praying hard that the result would be negative. I did not go to work anymore at this time and stayed with my wife hoping and praying that the results would be known in the morning. When the doctor came, I asked for the results and he said it was quite high. I accompanied him on his way out and pressed him to give me the numbers and he said it was 199! My world crumbled as my heart shrunk and pounded but I kept my composure. I immediately texted the information to my nephew and Doc Emer who were continually checking my wife’s condition. Unfortunately, Dr. Querol was already out of the country attending a congress in the US. I could not tell anyone of what I knew at this time as I did not think I have something conclusive. Both my nephew and my friend said that the problem with CA 125 is that it is none specific or something (I forgot the term they used). I could not tell my wife, my sister or any member of her family and most definitely not the children. I felt so alone. Visions of me and my wife getting old together inside a farm house which we could have bought ran through my head. I have always told my wife that part of my dream was to buy a farm in Tagaytay where the weather was to my liking and retire there. I have also thought all these time that I shall go earlier than my wife with my diabetes and all. I never thought that we would be having a problem like this. It was at this point that an OB – Gyne was called and was told that her ovaries were fine. However, it was far from over as my nephew said the ovaries can be tricky.


On Sunday, I texted our friends about my wife’s condition and requested them to come visit her as she was getting lonely. I feared that all these things could make her feel depressed and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. My friends were surprised to find out that we were still in the hospital and immediately were on their way.


That night, she was taken to the CT Scan machine and the following morning was told that the walls between her abdomen and intestine were thickening. This time, a gastro specialist, Dr. Flores, came and told us the details of the results of her CT scan. She had gastro-enteritis and was given two types of anti-biotics. She also suggested that she undergo ultra sound endoscopy. However, since the hospital did not have the machine to do that, she said she will refer us to St. Luke’s in Quezon City.


It was at this time that Doc Emer emailed me in my facebook account of an article in a medical journal about the CA 125. Basically it says that ascitis (fluid in the body) can make the reading of CA 125 go haywire. Now, I had something to hold on to. It was such a relief to find out that the doctors had ordered a repeat of the CA 125 as her tummy's fluid has gone down. God must have listened to my prevent prayers as this time the reading was 31. It was only then that I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Until now, we do not know what caused the ascitis. It could have been due to the inflammation as a result of the gall stones. Who knows? What we know is that it neither contained microbes nor cancer cells.


My wife was discharged with a little tube connected on her to drain the fluid out on July 7. From then on, we would visit the doctors for check up and everything seems to be good. This morning, we finally went to St. Luke’s for her endoscopy and was told that everything seems to be normal! What a relief!!!!!

Educational crisis?

Once again, the educational system is facing tough issues it has to solve once and for all. First is the proposal to add more years in high school and the elementary. Second is the controversial introduction of sex education to the young.

As an educator, I think I have to have a stand. Not that it matters that much but I believe we all have to make our voices heard for after all, that is the true essence of a democracy.

I have reservations about the first one. Will adding a year or two solve the dilemma of the students not learning enough? I don’t think so. Adding a few more years will not ensure quality education. What it will do is delay the graduation of the student and make education more inaccessible to the poor. I believe we already have all the subjects to prepare the young for college work. What we do not have is the right formula to make the system work. What we need is to reinvent the educational system. What we need to do is to create a curriculum that will address our needs. Right now, most of the curricula we follow are those created elsewhere. As such, these curricula were made by their framers having in mind their own set of values, the intellect and temperament of their young, thinking that what is true to them is just as true with us.

Still, the curriculum, whatever it is that we shall adopt, is not the root of the problem. The real culprit to our educational system is poverty. To a starving family, the education of its young takes last precedence. The young one has to help the parents eke out a living. The number of out of school youth is increasing each year as more and more Filipino families fall into the depths of poverty. Those who managed to go to school do not have enough resources. They are malnourished and could not think straight because they have other more “important” things to think about. The books the government provides are minimal and are even erroneous.

Public school teachers are underpaid. As such, we cannot attract the brightest to teach the young. Teachers, as a matter of fact, even opt to go abroad and be domestic helpers in order to make both ends meet. There is nothing more pathetic than having an educational force where the blind is leading the blind.

What we should do is eradicate poverty or at least make the poor have at least a decent life. Then, they can dream again for a better future.

As for the second, I think we as adults “know” too much that we fear that what they shall teach the young is what we know. What we have learned so far is from our peers who are in the dark themselves. We fear that the lessons shall be so graphic and lurid that we fear it will turn our young into sex slaves. When I was growing up, since I was brought up in a catholic school, I never knew about the birds and the bees. I was shocked when friends of mine talked about sex. I thought having children was God sent. That it was natural for married couples to have children as they are given freely as a result of matrimony. Needless to say that everybody laughed at me and my ignorance.

Sex education should be taught by the parents. True, but how many among us have taught our children about the birds and the bees? I have no qualms of teaching my boys that but I had to admit, I was very hesitant to talk about it with my daughters. One time, my eldest daughter who was in Grade 6 told me she saw two dogs who were conjoined twins that were attached at both ends. I couldn’t answer and told her to ask her mom instead.

Some people have turned the issue into a question on morality. I have yet to see the modules they plan to teach but I shall give the authorities the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think they shall go into graphic details when they teach the subject. I am thinking it shall be scientific and scholarly and matter-of-factly. Will teaching about sex at an early age make the young promiscuous? I don’t think so. It will still depend upon the upbringing they have at home. Pre-marital sex is happening today and yet these children have never had sex education during their youth. The thing is, they will do it just the same. It is an urge brought about by curiosity, sometimes, it is borne out of rebellion for the parents. There have been teen age marriage that happened because they are not happy inside their own homes and wanted to get out. Of course, that is a generalization and a very bad example to prove a point. However, it does happen. The point is, teaching the young about where they came from will not make them promiscuous or immoral. It is how they shall be brought up and what kind of moral values they shall acquire.

Information should be about imparting knowledge not power. Together with knowledge should be the right to choose and having to choose wisely. Withholding information and telling someone how to live based on what another knows is as immoral as sin. This should be the essence of sex education.

Putting the dirt underneath the rag does not make the house clean

Rampant cheating and violence have always been the standard in every elections we have had in the past. Philippine elections have always been marred by accusations of fraud and whatever dirty tricks politicians have. Let's face it, cheating is a common staple in Philippine politics.

Can we consider this year's elections as being clean and honest? This is what we are made to believe considering the news reports a day after the elections. We saw candidates conceding after seeing the numbers, something we haven't seen in a long while. Commentators said we have had, thanks to automation, the cleanest elections yet. But do we?

Not if you ask me. Election related death toll of a 112 does not make it clean. It makes it very dirty! How much blood should we spill every election time? This blood letting should come to a close.

The reason why we were so eager to automate the elections is so we can safeguard the sanctity of the ballot. However, as a nation who has undergone the process of selecting its leaders through this process for decades, we should have been old enough to know that cheating does not only happen during the counting. Cheating during the counting is just one way of rigging the results of the polls. Cheating happens even before the official campaign period starts.

Ir is called dirty politics and that we have plenty of. These dirty politicians will have a go of it no matter what the cost. Every warlord who has the "goons, guns and gold" will have all the dirty tricks thrown at the arena even if it means killing whoever stands in the way. Remember the Maguindanao massacre? What about the elections that happened in precincts in the far-flung areas? These are all riddled with anomalies. No, I don't think we had a clean, honest elections. We are still in square one.

For a true democracy to work, the people's voice must be the strongest, not those who prophesied they are God sent or worse, those who will make everything possible so that they can rule for their own benefit.

Of elections and Family Matters

I don’t know if you have the same feeling I have but it seems like there’s going to be massive cheating this coming elections. We are being prepared now, aren't we? We have been talking about computerization since time immemorial and when we have finally reached the point of no return, the precincts are saying that the machines are giving out wrong computations. During all the prep time? WTF?!?!? Can you imagine the time and money we have spent for this endeavour only to be told a few days prior to Dday that the machines are not reliable after all making some people suggest either postponing the elections or go back to manual counting?

Going back to manual counting is like going back to the middle ages. Computerization is something new and the cheaters probably have not learned of ways to tamper the results effectively. (Hindi kaya ng powers ni Garci to produce 1 million votes for starters) So what is the next best thing for these scalawags to manipulate the outcome of the elections? Make everything possible to prevent the machines from doing the counting. Start putting doubts on the reliability of the machines. I think, more than anything else, that all this fuzz about this malfunction is just a prelude to have each one of us prepared for the mayhem the coming elections shall bring.

On a lighter note, let me just tell you about the latest in the family. That would be more pleasurable to read, I think.


I can't believe it but my kids have really grown up. My eldest daughter just got back from a four-day convention in South Korea for the company where she works as Senior Marketing Specialist. I will have to admire her for her determination. She arrived in Korea at around 5:30 am expecting to be picked up by someone from the hotel or the company. Well, guess what. The ride did not come and as her itinerary says, she has to be at the hotel before 8 am as the convention was going to be transferred to another location where they will stay until 12 then fly to yet another part of the country. Kraiganne has neither been to Korea nor has she travelled on her own. The airport is about an hour ride to the city. But to my delight, I think we've taught her well enough not to just slump on the floor and cry. She managed to get a ride to the hotel and arriving there late, went to the concierge for her to be transported to the next destination of the convention. Well, it took her a hundred US but she survived!

Mickey, on the other hand, has just finished defending his thesis, an interactive program that will teach you how to play the violin, and he aced it. He got a perfect score for his eforts. Well, as he says, rather braggingly, that he just used his charm and handsomeness as all the panelists were women. (the nerve! I wonder where he got that hahahaha.) Anyway, during his defense, he started by playing the violin for the panelists and one of them even quipped "I might fall in love with you" (that twerp, no wonder he can brag about it. Now really, I wonder where he got the kapalmuks). Well, the rest, as they say, is history.

Prior to his defense, he had the guts to apply for a job in one telecompany and got accepted. He was already being asked to sign his appointment papers when he informed the HR officer that he hasn't graduated yet and was just trying to apply to see if he can pass the test. Well, the officer told him that when he graduates, he can come back and if the position is still available, it's his. I don't know if he''s going back there, though, as he is going to another company today for a job interview. I think he submitted his resume to more than one company and is now on the process of choosing which one is the best as all of them responded positively.

Well, I am a proud parent. What can I say? Either indulge me or shoot me.

She's all grown-up

There was this song from the Stylistics in the 70's I used to listen to and it goes like this: "You're a big girl now, no more daddy's little girl." Just like some of the songs I used to listen to in those days, I was more mindful of the melody than the lyrics. Especially that it was the first time that singing in falsetto was unheard of during the time, I never really felt how strong the words are until last night when I took my eldest daughter to the airport for a convention she was attending in South Korea.

After all the usual reminders of keeping all the papers together and taking care of herself, I gave her a kiss and let her go. I watched her walk towards the entrance toting a big pink baggage in one hand with jacket and hand-carried stuff with the other. It was like watching my baby going away from me. It was then that I knew, she's no longer daddy's little girl. I remember how vulnerable her fragile body was as I carried her in my arms putting her to sleep. I remember how I gave her smelling kisses after she took a bath. I remember her sitting beside me during the first time I drove to school and seeing the relief on her face when we got to our destination. These things made me strong. I had to be as there were young people who needed me to be so. Now, she and the rest of her siblings are all grown up and soon,will have a family of their own and it will be just me and the wife to spend the rest of our lives together.

In the meantime, let me hold my babies for one more time, make them feel that they are loved before I no longer have the strength to even stand on my own two feet.

There is always a silver lining

April 20 is a very important date for me. Not only is this the day my wife was born, it is also the day we got married. Today, we celebrate our 25th year of being together, our silver anniversary.

A silver lining is a hopeful or comforting prospect in the midst of difficulty. What it means is that in spite of the most difficult situations, there is something beautiful that is hidden beneath the rabbles. The beauty of the desert is that somewhere, it hides a well... (from the Little Prince When I got married after a two-year engagement with my wife, I knew that there would be problems that we have to hurdle as husband and wife. Who does not? But we managed to overcome them. Now, it's twenty five years hence and our relationship is still going strong, thanks to our four children who are barely children anymore, and our enduring love for each other. Now that is the silver lining to our marriage. Problems sure came along the way but we braved the storms together. As a matter of fact, it was almost smooth sailing most of the way from day 1.

My wife and I make a pretty good team. As soon as we knew we were sure to be hitched for life, we started by saving money for our wedding. We opened a joint bank account specifically to spend for it lest we bother other family members about our own private lives. From that time on,after marriage, we embarked on different major projects every year. First was the house where we now live in, then, the car, etc... Last year, we had the house renovated and added more rooms and an upstairs CR. Fortunately, the house was completed before Ondoy. We practically started from scratch and what we have today is the result of our combined perspiration and blood.

Of course, the kids were always a part of the equation. When these guys were still toddlers, we would rent a private pool in Laguna and together with family and friends, celebrate our wedding anniversary there. This was the time when the kids were just learning to swim. Later, when they were about to be teen-agers, our "outings" began to be in farther destinations with a set of friends who were with us since our early years in the university where we both work(ed) (My wife still works there). We have traveled as far north as Pagudpud and way down south to Bicol, Marinduque and Mindoro. These are friends who are considered part of the family. Our children grew up together, slept in one room and spent most of the nights playing games. These escapades were pleasurable silver linings that helped us to be what we are now as a couple.

I must admit, the best silver lining in our marriage is my wife's admirable virtues of tolerance, understanding and piety. There is no other woman who can put up with my mood swings, my temper (I'm not really that bad but I do have these sometimes) and undying support for me. As an artist and a teacher, which unfortunately, do not bring tons of money in the household, she managed to keep me in tow, helped me through hard times, even managed to get me back to school a couple of times to take my masters and another course. But as I am, I always fall short even when I can almost see the finishing line. I know this was upsetting for her but really, I could not finish something I do not find enjoying anymore. That's me. It's all fun and excitement but as intolerable of sadness and sacrifices. We only live once and I want to make the best out of it.

Last night, I have decided that the children are old enough to spread their wings on their own. I have instructed my children to come home early and look after their grandmother as I was taking their mom on a date. Yes, just the two of us. We have not done this in a long time. Everything we did was for the children. It is high time that we do things for ourselves, enjoy each other's company and see the stars, smell the flowers the way they are without any worries at all. I took her to an Italian restaurant in Serendra called Balducci Ristorante to have a quiet dinner. The food was uber delicious! As I am wont to stare at other people, I made sure I did not face anybody but the bar and made sure I did not bring any cigs in my pocket. How's that for discipline, huh? All for the love of my life. For starters, we had a greek salad. Then, I ordered for onion soup which was spectacular! For our main course, we ordered pasta, as usual It was divine!
After, dinner, we took a stroll of Bonifacio High Street, looking at the stores. I asked her if she wanted to go to a spa but she declined. She was good! All these while the children entertained their cousins and titos and titas to a dinner at the house.

As cliche as it may sound, if I were to be given another chance in life, I will seek my wife again and marry her the second, the third time. For it is only she who can make me who I am and see a silver lining in the thickest of clouds.

Listening to the counsel of the years

One of the perks of being old is the more you get older, the wiser you get. In the eyes of some other people, that is. Well, as I have said in my previous posts, my co-workers are getting younger and younger. Some of them were even my students in high school. Now, we are equals but they still accord me some respect.

As young ones tend to be engaged in matters of the heart, sometimes, I get to be asked questions pertaining to this worthy endeavor. Some are cutesy stories, some are down to earth. I begin to be an expert of some sort although, of course, I am not really as qualified for I do not have that much experience. I have had three girlfriends before I got married and two of those only lasted for a month. My first relationship was when I was thrown by my parents to San Miguel, Bulacan. I was a drop out then and had to repeat my third year of high school. (I was a good student but only when I do study my lessons and I hardly did that). It was during the 70s and it was really hard to be a teen ager in those days. Let us just say it was the age of rebellion and leave it at that. My second was in college. No courting, just got her to go with me to the movie theater and one thing led to another and we were steady after that. I did not expect that relationship to last and it didn't. The third one was the hardest. It hit me hard when she broke off with me. She was very beautiful and very intelligent (of course she was. She broke off with me). Back then, I was never a serious guy. Just drinking and partying all day long.

However, I am not shy with women. As a matter of fact, I am more comfortable with women than with men. I can laugh and be myself even with complete strangers. I have always been around them since my early childhood. Most of my playmates were girls. I still have that trait even to this day. Most of my closest friends are women teachers. I trust them and they, me. Of course, I get the rocks when I kind of shock them a bit. If you know me, you know what I am talking about.

So, it did not come as a surprise when yesterday, a co-teacher of mine confessed that she is having a hard time with her boyfriend. I will not go into the details but narrate the jist of our discussion. After giving a disclaimer that my assessment is purely based on what she has told me and that it could be wrong for I do not know the other person in the story, in summary, this was what I told her:

1. She loves her boyfriend more than he does her. I know the romantics would say that love knows no boundaries. You give yourself completely without any qualms or expecting anything in return. However, that is only true when the other person loves you just as much. We only live on this earth once. Why suffer? Unrequited love is the most painful of all. It takes two to tango. Love is something one does with a partner. Narcissism is the most pitiful state one can be in.

2. When you love something, you let him/her go i have been a staunch believer of this since I have read it someplace I do not recall. You know how it goes. If it comes back, it is truly yours. Well, until this morning while doing the puzzle in Star. You know that cryptic message you decode by substituting the letters to their assigned numbers? I had to stay at the shop for more than 8 hours today because of a car tune-up that has gone sour because I have asked the mechanic what was causing that squeaking noise underneath. It turned out to be a huge job that cost me more than 26K and a 12 hour stay there. What was I to do? I have read the paper from cover to cover, finished the crossword and the unscrambled letters. Surprisingly, the message was the same but with a twist. Some anonymous person wrote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it does not mean a thing for it just may leave again." How pathetic can that writer be? Anyway, I still say, if you love someone but your love is not reciprocated, better let it go and stop the suffering. It only hurts for sometime but in the end, you learn to heal the wound in your heart. Move on!

3. Nobody deserves a beating in the name of love Unless you are a masochist, there is no point in having your heart trampled upon by anybody. We all deserve to love and be loved. The key is finding the right person for you. As de Quiros would say, "there's the rub". How does one know? You don't. You just keep on praying you'll find that someone. It can be a hit or miss but by jove, you have to find him/her before you get committed. Marriage is lifetime commitment so you better make good judgments in matters of the heart. When I learn of newly formed couples, I always ask, "Have you guys fought already?" The reason being it is no problem when everything's alright. However, things can get ugly sometimes and surely, you will fight. You will have to learn how to do that. You have to know what the other person is capable of doing. How does the other person argue his/her point, does he use gestures or does he/she become very violent?

4. When couples fight and it gets nasty, never involve your relatives This is especially true when married. You wouldn't want to involve, say, your father with your marital problems. You entered into that situation as an adult, deal with it. The problem lies when the relatives become so pissed that they gang up with your spouse. Worst case scenario is it can lead to death. You can just imagine a father wielding a bolo at his daughter's husband because the latter beat her up. Maybe this is because I just watched the Godfather I again the other night. I can still see how mad Santino was upon learning that her brother-in-law beat his sister. Anyway, I think it is more prudent to either go to your friends or better yet, your in-laws first. Should there be no other alternative but to separate, work it out with them first. That is just my opinion, of course.

5. No matter how painful love can be, do not be afraid to love As corny as it may seem, the saying "it is better to have loved and lost than never having to have loved at all" still holds true. Being in love is the sweetest thing that ever happened to me. It will to anyone and we all deserve to be happy.

A goodbye is forever

Goodbyes are very painful. There is always a finality in its content even if it is not a total goodbye. There is a big difference between a "goodbye for now, see you tomorrow" and one that will take years before being reunited once again with the person. Obviously, there is a big difference between a temporary goodbye and a final one which is a goodbye to someone being lowered to the ground. Just the same, both can be very painful in their own special way.

It is painful because you have already grown accustomed to the person's presence, listened to his/her voice practically everyday, talked and shared ideas with, shown and seen all swing moods, probably even quarreled with him or her from time to time. And in spite of all these, you are still together. Friends are like this. Sometimes, your relationship with your friends is even much deeper than what you have with your own siblings. This is especially true when you spend more time with them than your own family.

Probably the main reason why it is painful is because once someone leaves, that will mean a cessation of what you have got going for you. You are in a comfort zone and suddenly it comes to a halt. If you are like me who has stayed in one work place for so long, you would have experienced being left all the time. You have seen people come and go. You are left in mid-air only to start all over again with a new set of friends. That is what is painful with goodbyes. No matter how long the absence will be, there is a stop to the relationship and you both have to move on, find new friends from among your old and new acquaintances not knowing what the outcome will be. But once you are settled down, life goes on and your once close friend is only good for reunions trying to catch up on old times but it will never be the same again.

Of course a marriage is different. And so is your immediate family. There is a commitment you have sworn to protect, trust and obey. Friendship is not as rigid as this is. You become friends, bond and become together without any ceremonies at all. You just happen to be two or more people who happened to enjoy each others' company and it clicked! And so when its time to say goodbye, it will be painful because it will be forever.

The essence oif youth.

On Saturday, the school will graduate its Grade 7 and Senior students. Once again, familiar faces I have seen practically everyday will no longer be there. Well, at least for the Senior high school students. We have had some good and rough times, these seniors. I just returned to teaching after a two year stint as a Level Coordinator (a prefect of discipline if you will) and they were freshmen. You know, the awkward stage where they had just jumped out of being a child. They were very young they merely knocking on the doors of their teen years.

I remember the day when I was a high school student. I loved it too much that I took it for five years! Let's not get into the details, though. I think I have said enough. Suffice it to say that the 70's was such an interesting time to be a teen-ager that it was a bit too hard to get out of it. We have just seen the openness and the carefree ways of the hippies, their slogan of "make love, not war", their logo and sign of peace, their music, Woodstock, long hair, jeans, etc. Somehow, their rebellious nature robbed on us Filipinos bringing us into another phase of our history, the much talked about First quarter storm.

But it was not all patriotism. While it is true that there might have been hundreds of students that paid with their lives in the streets of Mendiola fighting against the tyrant, there were those who were just simply joining the bandwagon thinking it was hip (Well, they wouldn't be called hippies for nothing, haha). As a matter of fact, it was just all fad in some sort of way. The original hippies did not take a bath, were true to their motto. We were not like that at all. I shared with my sister's shampoo for one thing. And our Catholic upbringing still prevailed when it came to sex although there were a few who were liberated already at that time.

Nevertheless, I believe that era started the gap between the generations to escalate to high proportions. Children could no longer understand their parents and parents had lost their patience over their children. The men had stopped wearing pomade (you know, that sticky, thick goo you rub on your hair to make it stiff and stay in place the way you want it to) and had their hair longer and longer much to the dismay of their fathers. Fashion began to deteriorate as the "burgis", the elitists, were frowned upon. Of course, the thing that gave our parents nightmares is the fact that it was in this era when the young was introduced to the use of drugs. I remember the time when parents vehemently prohibited accepting anything from strangers, especially candies, for they might be laced with drugs (oftentimes opium) to make an addict out of you and make you their slave. I begin to wonder if these stories were true or they were just rumors spread to stop drug abuse. Anyway, when Martial Law was declared, we all rushed to the barbershop and mended our ways. Well, sort of.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. The one thing I like about teaching is that it is not your everyday routine job. You deal with different personalities and each one brings something new to you. You get excited every opening of classes as you do not know what is in store for you and you give off a sigh of relief every summer as you put to a close another chapter of the book of life, only to open another one the next schoolyear. You teach but at the same time, learn from your students as well. You make several mistakes along the way but you learn from them. Your students' youth brings you more vitality than you will ever know. I cannot imagine myself being tied to a desk pushing papers or doing accounting work. I have to meet people, talk to them, argue, comment and ask questions. I have to play with them, jam and sing along with them. I know it is my time to pack my things when I can no longer keep up. But right now, I am still at the top of my game.

l'ecrit contre le mot parle

My friend and colleague who teaches high school philosophy in my school shared to me that one of their lessons is the difference between the written and the spoken word. Somehow, I found it interesting to write about since I am just idly sitting in front of the computer thinking of what to write. Hmmm, a brain exercise.

It takes two to communicate. There is the giver and the receiver of the message. How they come in agreement as to what the message is is practically dependent on the ability of both to play the roles they have in this kind of endeavor. While there can be many receivers to listen to a message, it would be chaotic to have more than one delivering it at the same time. Just the same, these receivers will sometimes have different understanding of the message they have just heard. So, basically, communication can be a very hard, it can even get frustrating at times.

Many will argue that in order to communicate well, one should know the right grammar, correct subject-verb agreement, tenses, etc. and going even further, syntax and semantics of a certain language. Again, this is dependent on the ability of the giver to make his message come across with nary a problem. But is this all there is to it? While it is true that these are very important, one can still communicate even with very minimal knowledge of a language. I think tourists in any land can manage to be understood, albeit with extreme difficulty, to get his/her message across using signs and symbols, and still get what he/she wants in the end if confined only to the very basic. When we went to Korea, most of the people we met did not speak English. So too were the store signs. But we managed to get by especially with a little help from the guide who even taught us how to haggle. The day we were to go home, the itinerary was to go to a famous theme park but knowing that I will have to spend more than I can afford (again), I opted to stay in the hotel. Come lunch time, I went out to look for a restaurant. I was shocked that none of the menus was written down in English. So what was there left? I pointed! I saw someone eating and pointed to her food, showed her money to ask how much and we understood each other. Whether I was taken for a sucker and paid more than I should have is totally a different story of course. But nevertheless, I was able to buy me some food.

The complexity of communication does not end there. There is the difference between the spoken and the written word. Which do you think is more effective in getting your message across? Is it the written text or the spoken word? Which would you prefer? I say it will depend on two things. Again, the ability of the participants and the message itself.

The written word is more permanent. One can store the paper on which the message is written and have it re-read numerous times until one has memorized its contents. This is the reason why when we deal with legal issues, we have to have them written down. This is called evidence. It will be very hard to deny what you have written down. The good thing about the written is that you have the time to edit and revise the piece before you send it out. In so doing, you have a well thought out piece (supposedly) which you have crafted to perfection at least from the point of the giver of the information. But more often, the receiver would want to react, clarify or make a comment. This makes the written word basically a one way communication until a response has been received.

The spoken word is a fleeting exercise and passes very quickly. This gives the speaker a chance to deny and swear by the grave of his/her great great great grandparents what he she has just uttered. Of course we have the tape recorder but sometimes, they can be inaudible. But then again, this can also when a piece of writing is done in a manner that can hardly be read. My handwriting is a classic example. When I learned how to use the computer, it seems like I have thrown my handwriting down the drain. I can hardly read my own handwriting.

The problem with the written word is that it does not contain life. It does not bear intonations, speech patterns of the speaker and the facial expressions that go with it. These are very important aspects of communication for they also convey meaning. A single word that would look benign on paper would have a different meaning with the tone by which it has been uttered. Of course, writing has developed exclamation points and question marks but then again, these are very limited.

"Punching Bag" Clottey

I had from time to time watched rodeo games on tv. You know, those cowboys trying to overcome either a horse with a tantrum or a raging bull. I do not exactly know the rules of the game but I've figured out several things by just watching the game. Basically, the rider should stay on the animal for a given time before the latter throws him off its back. And yes, I can feel the rider's aching body once the animal manages to throw him and trample him with either its weight or its horns, whatever the case may be. Lastly, I know that it would be the biggest disappointment for a rider to learn that the animal will not try to even jump but just run. I think it's either called a buffer, an animal that is easy to ride, rope or throw, or it's what they call a blooper, an animal with very, very, little bucking ability that jumps and kicks or just runs around the arena. Maybe someone who is more adept with the game can correct me. Whatever it is, that was what Clottey was during the event that saw him pitted with Philippine Champ, Manny Pacquiao.

Just like the other Pacquiao games, I and my brother-in-law watched the game live on a pay per view location. Just like any other game, we went to the place early to get good seats. You can just imagine our disappointment when Clottey, just like a blooper, did not give a good fight but just stood there willing to be Pacquiao's punching bag. We could hear his coach/trainer saying "We're losing all the rounds" or "You gotta throw some real punches." It was a no contest bout. I was hoping he was just reserving his power till the end. I was kind of expecting he'd show his real strength by the eight round for after all, he does throw a mean right. But lo and behold, he was just like that till the end. And to think I have not had any sleep at all and had been a very bad parent to my daughter last night. But that's another story which I would narrate some other time, if and when I manage to have the guts. Suffice it to say that my gnawing conscience is bothering me a lot at this time.

On getting old

Getting old never dawned on me until about a year ago. I thought I was still a teenager even if I already have four teen-agers of my own. My body just refuse to believe that the pain on my waist at night, the number of pills I have to take for diabetes, white hair on my balding head, or even the lines on my forehead tell me that I am old. Why should I? I still have friends much younger than I am and I can still do what they can do. I can still relate to their stories and they can with mine. I can still stay with them until the wee hours of the morning, exchanging useless banter over beer or any other beverage there was. Yes, they don't call me by my first name like they do with their peers but that was okay. They call me tito and I didn't mind. I liked the monicker anyway having nieces and nephews who are fond of me anyway. Besides, a lot of people call me that way when I started this blog. Never did it dawn on me that I was old.

But time does not stop for anyone. No matter how slow the hour hand crawls on the clock, it reaches the time for us to go home from work. This is just like our lives but on a grander scale. I realized I do not live in a warp zone where I can stop aging while everybody continue to do so and play catch up. I cannot be happy man without having a true friend. There has to be someone I can talk to without any qualms, share my thoughts, tell naughty stories to and basically, hang out with. In my line of work, especially with the economy on the downtrend, teachers, like nurses, are lured by green bucks. The turn over of workers have been steadily getting higher and higher. As it did with my friends. Some of them have migrated abroad, some had married and resigned. Eventually, all my friends have moved on and I was left behind.

My co-workers keep on getting younger and younger. The gap has never been this far apart. I could not believe that some of them were just born when I started working. To make matters worse, I was again asked to handle an administrative position. That was the icing on the cake. Now, everybody calls me Sir. Friends are hard to come by when there is this huge gap between you and the next person. While the difference in age is already a huge boulder to climb, the position added a wall. Suddenly, the songs I use to sing are ancient. The jokes I used to tell no longer get the same response. Well, there are times when I couldn't get their humor either. The invitations to a lunch out, or hang out at the mall has been practically nil. I am now at the threshold of calling it quits with the institution that nurtured me, simply because I have to accept the fact that I will soon become irrelevant. The tell tale signs are there.

But then, why should I feel this way? I feel this is a very defeatist attitude on my part. MAybe it is because I had been resisting the movement of my clock. Why don't I just let it move and go with its flow and see where it takes me? Maybe if I did that, I would learn to accept that things have changed and I have to adjust just one more time. Maybe, just maybe, I will learn to age with grace. If I learn to do that, then maybe retirement will not be the end but the start of a new era in my life. When that happens, let's see who has gone old!

An unfathomable conundrum

Once again, death stares me at the face. I just visited my old boss who retired about ten years ago. He is 76 gone to 90. His dignity lost, he is reduced to a decrepit,sickly man suffering the pains of a failing liver. We had such happy days together. We would go for a drink or two after office hours together with friends. There was even a time when he sparingly wrote a note to my wife saying I was with him until the wee hours of the morning. My brother-in-law had a good laugh over that "parental" letter one usually submits to a teacher lest the student gets into trouble.

The house that saw big parties, flowing with alcohol and food enjoyed by guests coming from all over is just as old. I have spent many happy moments there. My eldest daughter's baptismal party was celebrated there. The house was a very happy one. He was on top of the world and that was his kingdom. His royal subjects knelt before him, shivered even at his most benign commands. The house is almost dilapidated now and so is its king. Anywhere you look, the house where little boys used to run and roam, where you heard roosters were kept in a coop crowed, with the garage where we played mah jongg or whatever game it was we could play is just as lonely, needing more care from its owners. He couldn't even utter an understandable voice to say what he wanted.

Such is the way of the world. We reach the top of the world and plummet back to earth in the end. I just hope I never get to experience the pain of having to suffer a decline that would rob me of my dignity where someone else has to wash my behind or feed me in a tube.

If only to console me and my boss' family and friends, he has lived a full life and I don't think he is sorry for what he has become. It is my fervent prayer that with his memory almost gone, he is just as oblivious to the pain.

God's Trick

God tricked me.
He gave me time
that does not stop
for anything. Just like
a snail that crawls
ever so slowly
from one point to another,
it reaches its destination
no matter how far
or what obstacles hurled
along its way.

God tricked me.
He gave me youth
to squander and abuse
so that I
can lay in my death bed,
inutile, suffering the pain
of an ignominius state,
devoid of all the dignity
I used to possess.

God tricked me.
He gave me strength
so that I can waste it away
and harm myself.
Reduced to decadence,
I am decaying even before
I am dead.

God tricked me.
He gave me friends
I cannot keep.
They will be there
for a while
only to return
living their own lives.

God tricked me.
He gave me the gift of life
only to take it anytime
He pleases. Gifts should
be for keeps
and so it is with God’s
little trick.

rolly


PS.
My boss passed away this afternoon, February 16. Please join me in praying for the eternal repose of his soul.

Chameleon Angels

Sickening platitudes
cacophony of campaign jingles
float the air again
in a jungle
covered with huge pictures
of yellow, red, orange, green.

Promises of paradise
a litany of more jobs

lower taxes

medical assistance

food

shelter

thank you heaven
for these angels!

"Don't forget my name,"
the saintly statesman shouted.

Chameleons are better.
They only kill what they eat.

Politicians are parasites
feeding on our sweat
until we have no more to shed
but blood.

I wonder where
they got their butterfly wings
and halo. How do they hide
their horns and tail?

It's a game we play
with angels
from hell.

rolly

freelance writers needed

FREELANCE WRITERS WANTED

An upcoming Philippine-based online lifestyle magazine, is seeking freelance writers to be part of its first and future publications.

For those interested, please refer to the application guidelines, which follow:

1. Applications will be accepted from all writers, both professional and amateur.

2. Submit your resume, along with two articles between 400 and 600 words in length, focusing on beauty, fashion, health and wellness, or travel. Previously published articles will also be accepted for assessment (please indicate the name and date of publication).

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4. As much as possible, articles must include a list of products, establishments or other similar resources that may supplement the main topic.

5. All articles must be in English, and must come with an original title. Please observe the double-space format.

6. Plagiarism will IN NO WAY be tolerated. Every submission will be thoroughly verified for originality. External references must always come with in-line citation.

7. Writers accepted for the freelance positions will be notified, will receive their own byline, as well as their own writer’s profile page which will feature all their articles published on the online magazine. A P250 per article remuneration also awaits successful applicants (the rate will increase in due time).

8. Send all submissions to editor.gablifestyle@gmail.com. Articles must be sent in either .doc or .pdf format, and must include the writer’s full name and/or nom de plume (pen name), email address, contact details, and a short biography.

Think outside of the box

The school is undergoing its third PAASCU accreditation and the whole place is once again busier than a beehive with everyone abuzz with a flurry of activities as superiors breathe on everybody’s back. It is certainly not a walk in the park. It is quite ironic that to prove you had the best of times, you have to suffer the worst first. Not a single soul wants to be left behind hence you see everyone brushing up on their wares to shiny perfection, honing his/her skills and keeping up with the latest trends in education lest he/she be the weak link in a chain of master educators.

Lately, one of the buzz words in education is critical thinking. Many educators unabashedly mention critical thinking as the main component in their lessons if only to give relevance and credence to what they offer to their students. A lot of seminars have been conducted about this topic as its importance is unparalleled. However, if we review the learning plans, (a nomenclature that has been invented to show that traditional education is progressing with the times) of teachers, how many do you think would yield that the lessons attached therein manifest critical thinking?

What is critical thinking in the first place? Given a piece of information in the form of observation, experience, reflection, reasoning or communication that needs a response or a course of action as a stimulus, what is the best way to deal with it? Educational pundits say we should teach children how to use critical thinking. Michael Scriven and Richard Paul made a working definition of critical thinking as the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skilfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from or generated by observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action. Now, that is quite a mouthful, isn't it? To better understand, let us break the definition in segments. Critical thinking involves intellectual capacity. As such, relying simply on our instincts is not critical thinking as we have to use our brain to process information for it to be so. This we are able to do because it is a discipline resulting from constant practice and continued use. As such, the intellectual capacity should have been trained to act accordingly to a set of rules or undergo a certain process composed of steps to be undertaken in order to be whole. These steps are:
1. conceptualize – forming a certain idea about what a piece of information is all about;
2. apply – knowing that a piece of information or stimulus has a purpose and knowing what its purpose is, then apply to life;
3. analyze - dividing information up into categories and subcategories (and) selecting things that are the more important aspects, and solving them first
4. synthesize – organizing, constructing, composing, and creating your finished result; and lastly,
5. evaluate –looking back and assessing how a course of action regarding a certain stimulus has been dealt with.

With this process, one might think it has to be a long arduous task. There’s the rub. While we have to put our thinking caps on, we have to do the process involved in a jiffy making it look like as if we were reacting instinctively or by simple reflex. That is critical thinking in its highest form.

Now comes the question of what is the best way to teach children to think critically? There is no sure answer as each individual is different as it is different for all the disciplines taught in school. However, one thing is certain. Teaching critical thinking has to be done with a lot of creativity - another buzz word going around the academe for the longest time as it is still very vital in the teaching profession.

I had been trying to catch up with my reading in education when I chanced upon an article in the Educational Leadership entitled Why Creativity Now? A Conversation with Sir Ken Robinson with Amy M. Azzan (September 2009. Vol. 67. No. 1 pp. 22 -26) lying on my table waiting to be read. Amy Azzam wrote:

Creativity: It’s been maligned, neglected, and misunderstood. But it’s finally coming into its own. .. Sir Ken Robinson makes the case for creativity as the crucial 21st century skill we’ll need to solve today’s pressing problems.

Sir Ken who led the British government’s 1998 advisory committee on creative and cultural education and was knighted in 2003 for his achievements observed that people see creativity and critical thinking as being opposed partly because people associate creativity with being totally free and unstructured. The reason for this misconception is due to the notion that creativity only applies to the arts, i.e. painting, literature, music, etc. which are disciplines open to spontaneity and freedom of expression. However, creativity is defined as doing things differently using original ideas that have value. The operant words here are different, original and of value. As such, teaching can be as creative and very productive when used with creativity.

Why do we need to be creative?

Alvin Toffler, an American futurologist who wrote Future Shock and The Third Wave in the 70’s predicted that a super-industrial society shall emerge out of the industrial age bringing out a complete structure change which will overwhelm society. Toffler is neither a prophet nor an average fortune teller who bases his predictions on the movement of the stars or the clouds inside a crystal ball but someone whose predictions rely on trends as he observes them. That era of structure change is now. We are at a threshold of a new world order where our lives shall be governed by recent developments in technology which has changed drastically and at a very fast rate. He coined the term information overload which refers to an excess amount of information being provided, making processing and absorbing tasks very difficult for the individual because sometimes we cannot see the validity behind the information. This is what we do not want our children to experience. We might be overloading them with information that they begin to get bored as they don’t find these data relevant and of consequence.


Sir Ken said, ...we were told that if you worked hard, went to college, and got a regular academic degree, you’d be set for life. Well, nobody thinks that’s true anymore, and yet we keep running our school systems as though it were. How many graduates who landed in a job totally different from what they have studied are there? We have placed too much emphasis on education that parents would skip meals, work doubly hard and make sacrifices just to be able to send their children to school. We graduate students by the thousands every year only to be misplaced due to a mismatch of the market and what they have learned in school. Because we have an overabundance of graduates, corporations now have the luxury of hiring people with at least a college education even for menial jobs. There will come a time when they will require for a complete college diploma for cleaning the toilet.

With the advent of an age where information can be had at the click of a button, there will come a time when a school as we know it will be different. Students shall no longer be confined in a four-walled space together with several others but shall be alone in a virtual classroom located inside their house where they learn at their own pace, taught by probably a virtual teacher and a module designed to teach a specific lesson. This phenomenon has started. There are parents who opt for homeschooling than the traditional education we got before. There are interactive lessons one can use to learn about something. As a matter of fact, some teachers I know use these sites as a take off for their lesson. Considering that the concept is relatively new, there will come a time when interactive sites like these can and will replace the teacher. These sites were made to be very interesting that one gets hooked from the very start. They are replete with wonderful, attractive colors, beautiful presentations, clearly thought out messages, etc. that will make one bite hook, line and sinker - all the more reason for us in the academe to be creative with our lessons and make learning a truly worthwhile experience. Follow these simple rules next time you make your learning plans:

Dare to be different- a teacher who has been teaching a subject in the same way he/she has been taught or in the same manner as others have taught it for so many years is not being creative. Such a teaching style is as predictable as the rising of the sun at the east in the morning. At least, with regard to the weather, the sun may not show in case of rain. But a teaching style that is predictable would lose its essence and children will anticipate the lesson, be contented with “tips” given by an older brother/sister or friend, and are more likely to abandon critical thinking. Worse is if the style being used has been rendered obsolete and one didn’t know about it. Teaching involves continued learning. This can be done not only by enrolling in a graduate school but also through education of one’s self through research and reading.

Come up with original ideas - teaching styles that have been copied elsewhere is not only unoriginal, but such a style may not be within the milieu or experience of the learner. Often, we read books designed to cater to western thought, viz., American, with its cultural slant/biases, nuances in language and moral fabrications. The learner will have a hard time learning something that is far from his/her own experiences.

Find valuable lessons - who would care whether what you’ve done is unique or not if it does not hold any merit at all? So, you’ve invented a hundred ways to strike a match. So what? Students will never see the relevance of the topic at hand if they cannot see the practical use of why such a lesson should be learned.
Sir Ken added, (M)ost original thinking comes through collaboration and through the stimulation of other people’s ideas. Nobody lives in a vacuum. Sometimes, ideas come unexpectedly. It is sparked by something while you eat, talk to strangers, interact with students and co-teachers. Keep your eyes open to new ideas gathered from listening to others while they narrate their experiences, their dreams and aspirations.

Eureka! is a term said to have been shouted by Archimedes upon discovery of something significant. Who knows, in our pursuit of well-written, well-thought-out learning plans, there will come a day when we will be shouting eureka!

References:
Why Creativity Now? A Conversation with Sir Ken Robinson with Amy M. Azzan (September 2009. Vol. 67. No. 1 pp. 22 -26)
http://lonestar.texas.net/~mseifert/crit2.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_Toffler
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_overload

note: this article appeared in Sinag-Berde (The institutional newsletter of our school) p.11 - 13, vol.12, issue no. 2, SY2009 -2010)

Goodbye 2009

Once again, another year shall have passed and my words still have to "fork lightning" so I guess I will have to "rage, rage against the dying of the light!" Time is of the essence now as I am nearing the fourth quarter of my life. It is the end game and it is time to bet all my marbles.

My problem is I have too many interests! From where I stand now, it looks like one interest stands in the way of making the other stand out and make me really good at it. So, based on that, while practically all of my interests had made men famous, none of these will make me one. Sure, I thought of being rich or famous one day but I shall play the cards I have been dealt with. There is nothing wrong with a life that is simple and uncomplicated when the return is happiness.

Happy New Year to all.

paintings for canada

My watercolors ---



These paintings are bound for Toronto


Property of Mr. and Mrs. Espiritu

Wala lang magawa

Pasyong Mahal Ni San Jose

Pait, katam at martilyo,
ibubulong ko sa inyo
ang masaklap kong sikreto:
hindi ko pa inaano
ay buntis na ang nobya ko.

Ang sabi ng anghel, wala
akong dapat ikahiya,
walang dahilang lumuha;
dapat pa nga raw matuwa
pagkat Diyos ang gumahasa.

Martilyo, katam at pait,
makukuha bang magalit
ng karpintero? Magtiis.
Ang mahina at maliit,
wala raw laban sa langit.

--Jose F. Lacaba

The poem starts as an address poem as it murmurs to the pait, katam at martilyo which represent an artist’s tools used to mould life into his works. Works that had been continuously been misused, dictated upon and bereft of their true value as they have been serving the pleasures of a despot.

The poem is obviously a protest against the dictatorship of the Marcos tandem, the gods in Philippine soil during the 70’s. Using St. Joseph and his ordeal upon hearing the news that his fiancée was pregnant albeit the absence of carnal knowledge as a metaphor, the poet illustrates the carnage wrought by the Marcos government of the country’s economy and most of all, the pillage of Philippine culture as has been managed and manipulated by the self-professed patroness of the Arts, Imelda.

The third stanza talks about the crony or puppet, who, with his gift of gab, appeases the artist and not complain and on the contrary, be thankful because the gods has bestowed their blessings to his art.

The fourth stanza is inevitable. The lowly artist cannot do anything but to suffer for after all, beggars cannot choose but succumb to the will of the mighty.
While the poem was directed towards the seventies, it is interesting to note that this can still happen in a country where people who has arrogated to themselves the power of the gods, rule the affairs of government. A few years back, the National Press Club received flak for its censorship of a painting they themselves commissioned to celebrate press freedom in the country. They commissioned neo-Angono artists to make a mural but later on asked someone else to make alterations on the mural prior to its inauguration as they found several objectionable details which they thought were critical of PGMA and her policies in government.

Unfortunately, Lacaba’s poem will always be relevant as long as we have people whose myopic views only allow pictures that will not leave a sour taste in their sour-infested mouths. The poem will always be relevant in a land governed by people who govern by might and not by mind for always, the arts will be there to question, open the eyes of those who remain sleeping in the dark.

If man's justice fails, God will surely take over.

I condemn to the highest degree the massacre that happened in Maguindanao yesterday. It is an act of barbarism and utter cowardice that armed men, reportedly numbering to a hundred, would viciously attack unarmed people, rape the women and behead their helpless victims. These people are a disgrace to the Filipino, who albeit living in dire straits, has, since time immemorial, proved his tenacity to uphold his dignity through honest perseverance and hard work. Too bad, that living with him are goons of politicians who seem to live during the stone age when a woman can be had by pounding her head with a staff. There is no honor in getting what you want through sheer force. On the contrary, there is too much honor in even a lost battle but fought hard through intelligence, patience and perseverance.

What these barbarians did was an act of treachery to the Filipino and to the entire nation. They do not deserve to live in a civilized world where open minds and liberal ideas should prosper. May the wrath of the Lord bestow upon them and their tribes.

Erap(tion)

I will never understand how a lawyer works. It seems like no matter what the law says, lawyers will always find a way to get around it. This boils down to the best lawyer being the one to find the solution to the hardest problem at hand. The one who could be sleazy enough to take you out of the tightest situation. And we're only talking about fair being fair. No bribes or relatives or fraternity brothers working on the sides.

This thought has been sparked by the insistence of Erap to run for the highest position in the land once more. If an ordinary man was to read the law, it is plain and simple. He cannot run again for that office. However, his lawyers argue that the provision in the constitution does not apply to him as he was not able to finish his term, blah blah blah. Ironically, I believe that is the ultimate reason why he can't. If I remember my history correctly, the provision was made to prevent a bad president from staying in office and do more damage. This was done to prevent another Marcos from re-assuming office and using the powers of the same to remain for a very long time, which Marcos actually did using his constitutional mumbo jumbo.

I know as much that when the law is ambiguous and there is uncertainty as to its interpretation, we look back at the framers of said constitution and try to find the spirit behind the law. To me, the spirit behind the prohibition is for elected presidents not to run for office again, whether they did well or not, lest we are stuck with a very bad president. It never said anything about whether or not such term was completed. It says "elected". We only have to remember that the present constitution was made right after the ouster of strongman Marcos and that it was done in fear of history repeating itself. How could that be hard to understand?

Was Erap a bad president? Erap was ousted from office because the people believed he was not a good one. As a matter of fact, the court has decided, with finality, that he used public funds to enrich himself. He was incarcerated for plunder and was only given, for whatever reason it serves the present President, pardon. How can he run for office and aspire to be re-elected? He said to let the public be the judge thinking that the masa that supported him before will do so again. He must have a short memory but I remember it was the public who went out of the streets to oust him.

Strange huh?

coming home soon!

The good news is that we are all finally coming home this weekend. My wife reported to me that the water have subsided in our area and is now passable. I can bring my car to and from school, yey!!!

As I am wont to do, I do not complain but try to find something good in everything that happens to me. What is it that I can find good in having to stay in another place for weekdays and get to see my family only during weekends?

How about staying in a mansion by your lonesome? I have a room which is almost as big as the entire second floor of my house. And since my school is just walking distance away, I do not have to contend with the terrible raffic at SLEX, plus the savings on gasoline and toll fees which when added up could be about almost three thousand a week. That's huge savings, isn't it?

With regard to my children, we have never bonded as much as the weekends we stayed in Antipolo. Why? Simple. There is no internet connection available. While we can use a wireless connection, we still have to go to the office and do computer work (play, in the case of my kids) which is kind of a trouble as we will have to ask the master of the house to open the offices and turn on the wireless network. While we can ask to work there during office hours, we don't as we will only get in the way, of course. There is no cable tv available in the area as well. While we do have dvd's, for some reason or another, we didn't watch anything at all. So with that set up, what else is there to do but play with the children. I play texas hold'em poker with my boys, my brother-in-law who is our host and his two boys. The girls are doing something else with their mom or their tita, but they are just nearby. Surprisingly, we end up at the wee hours of the morning just playing poker! Lately, my brother-in-law, as generous a host as he can be, had his darts, which he had for a long time but never set it up, put up on the patio and there, we play darts even with the girls. What fun was there to be had.

Lastly, I have learned that I have a lot of friends who are all willing to help me when I need it. What joy is there to know that there are people who are willing to sacrifice just so you do not suffer. While we were really not what we can consider as hapless victims considering the plight of others who really lost a lot, help came pouring in just the same even as far as Canada. Trudy, daughter of my good friend, Arlene who passed away on December 22, 2006 was frantic when she learned from the news about what was happening in Manila. Without hesitation, she wired money to us knowing that we were going to have to do some repairs to the house and whatever we would need to surpass this recent tragedy that befell the country. Consider it as a gift from mom, she said. That brought tears to our eyes as Arlene was a very generous friend and for her daughter to continue such act of kindness is overwhelming. Her brother, Stephe, too, asked what kind of assistance we would need. I assured him that we are okay.

Of course, the Brother President of my school has offered cash incentives to those who were affected by Ondoy. Allowing me access to the house of the Brothers is more than enough help I can get.

There are also those who would sacrifice some discomfort just to make my life easier. There is this teacher who volunteered to have her maid do my laundry. She adamantly asked for my clothes and so I ended up giving her my uniform. This is a lot of help as I will have to carry a lot of things in my bag to join my family on weekends. There's another teacher with whom I ride till Ugong where I can get a cab on my way to Antipolo. Big things and little things mean a lot when you are in distress. And these I got from this experience. We are truly blessed!

Updates

If you have been following the news, you would know that Pasig is still with water up to now. This does not come as a surprise as I have known that serious flooding like this happens to our place every 8 or 9 years as claimed by those who are native to the place. Well, I recall having gone home on a banca one late night in 1988. We were living in the place for just a couple of months and I had to stay late in what was once Rizal Theater as we were staging South Pacific at the time. I came home drenched from the rain and to my surprise could not find the usual tricycles plying the streets. Then I was told that the water level at the municipal hall where I should pass through going home was waist high. I did not know what to do as I was tired and all I had in mind was go home. I walked several blocks and found a banca with a load of about six or seven people in it. I asked the boatman if he can deliver me to my place and he said, yes.

The flooding happened again after several years. I failed to count how many as one does not record these experiences in full detail. Suffice to say that we managed to block the experience hoping we have seen the last of it. Anyway, during the second time, all my children were of school age and ride with me to and from school. As it would be very hard for us to ride the "boat" everyday, my wife and I decided to find a place where the children can go in the meantime. My eldest was forced to live in her best friend's house, my two boys in another nearby subdivision while I and my third child had to live with a family friend. This lasted for about a month, as usual.

So, on that Saturday while Ondoy was giving a lashing out its fury of torrential rain and my maid who had to buy something at the store reported that the water was already knee high just a few blocks away, I knew it would be flooding season again. What I was not expecting was for the water to reach the house. When I saw that the relentless rain won't be stopping anytime soon, I already had the good sense to move the car to higher grounds. When the water was about three inches at the gate, I decided it was time to move the furniture to a higher level. My efforts had not been in vain for the water did come to my house. The house was soaked to about eight inches of water. Any higher and it would have ruined our sofa. My siblings who are now occupying the house my parents built in Marikina did not fair as well. The water inside the house was about two feet deep and a lot higher at the road.

On Wednesday, after cooking food while our feet were soaked in murky water and delivering the food upstairs, we decided to move out. The water was beginning to smell and I had occasion to see a dead rat, bloated and floating on the water. We moved to a shoe factory in Antipolo owned by my sister in law's husband. The water level there was much higher but at least we are at the fourth floor where the house is. We stayed there until Sunday while thinking of where to stay in the next weeks while classes shall have been opened.

My daughters now live with a family friend's daughter's condo unit in Makati, the youngest lives in his friend's house while Mickey stays with another family friend. I had been given permission to live in a house recently acquired by the school. I live here by my lonesome. We reunited last weekend in Antipolo and returned to our temporary stations. This will have to be our arrangement until the water in our place have subsided.

Don’t tell me we’re doomed!

It's a little late but I have to do a follow-up of my last post. My wife and two boys arrived in batches the following day, Sunday. They braved the waist high flood to reach the house. Mickey, who was supposed to go to Bulacan Saturday was stranded at Osmeña Blvd., Nitz stayed at the University, and Coby stayed with a friend's friend's condo unit.

Since then, love has been coming our way. While I believe we do not really need relief at this time, friends have been coming and offering help. Mickey's friends at the orchestra came and gave us a gas tank, a sack of rice and other goodies Monday brought to us by his friend, Bob Brillante and his friend. This morning, my eldest's company, represented by their HR gave out several donations, too. I also received a message from Trudy and Stephe, Arlene's children, offering help. We all had a tear in our eyes when Trudy said "consider it as a gift from mom!" Arlene is by far the most generous person I have ever known and now, even her children are showering us with so much. I don't know if I can even reciprocate such friendship. While we do need some supplies are these were about to be depleted soon, we plan to share our blessings to relatives who have been victims of the calamity. My siblings in Marikina, for one, needs help I'm sure, although they have not asked for anything at all. My wife's brother's house was also heavily inundated.

It’s been days since typhoon Ondoy struck Luzon and still the country is barely able to address the pressing demands for relief for the victims. And to think typhoon Ondoy did not hit Manila in its full intensity. It was just a signal number two alert. As a matter of fact, CHED never called off classes relying on PAGASA (which also means hope in tagalog or the lack thereof) saying that it wasn't a full blown typhoon yet. The downpour was very heavy though that the clogged flooding system in the city just cannot contain the onslaught of water. We have known this to be a fact since the seventies and still we have not done anything. Squatters still live miserably along river banks, the river is still plagued with the city’s debris of chemicals and toxic wastes. However, we cannot blame this malady to just the squatters alone but the whole Filipino populace as well. We have been complacent and passive. To say the least, we had it coming. We have known the benefit of proper garbage disposal, segregation of waste, the ill effects of using styrofoam and plastic but we do not heed. No matter what we say, people are still wantonly throwing their wastes irresponsibly. We still think that laws are made for others while we are exempt from it.

Let’s face it. Manila is not ready to face a calamity. We rely heavily on the private sector to aid us in the most trying of times. Government do not have the capability to address a major catastrophe. Too bad for we are situated in a land where calamities are wont to strike anytime. We lie in a very unsteady earthquake belt and typhoon infested zone and yet we do not do anything about it. It would interest you to see what I discovered in facebook.

I saw a video clip of a committee hearing the impeachment complaint being railroaded by the majority members.

A home without the comforts of a house: Typhoon Ondoy

(I wrote this on my laptop while Typhoon Ondoy was still pouring in more rain)

When we moved to this house in 1988, there was a big flood. It stayed for a month and we had to ride a banca to and from the house. It was too late for us to back out as we have already started paying the mortgage and there’s nowhere else to go.

They told us flooding happens in this part of the city every 8 years or so. I would not be surprised for after all, the river’s delta is just a stone’s throw away although one cannot realize this to be so for the river’s view is blocked by houses and other commercial edifices. But that was okay. Our house is spared from inundation. In my years of experience living here, our place was like a tiny island surrounded by brown, murky, filthy water that was knee-high. The municipal hall which was about two hundred meters away would have floods that reached the neckline. We have had this flood two more times ever since. We had to ask friends from the south to take the kids in for just a while until the flooded streets subsided. Kraiganne who was then in sophomore high, had to stay with her best friend in Ayala Alabang. The boys had to stay with Mickey’s best friend while Kim and I slept with our family friend’s family. Nitz had to stay behind to take care of the house and her aging mother. It was a lot of hassle to us and to the families we had to disturb.

But the hassles then were nothing compared to what we are experiencing now. The flood has reached our premises and beyond. I had to transfer the car to what I thought would have been safer grounds. This is the first time that we had to raise up the furniture, disconnect the electronics and put them to a safer place at the second floor lest they get soaked in water and break. The toughest was the refrigerator.

What’s worse is that Nitz and the two boys decided to go to school. “Classes are not suspended,” they argued. So, they’re now stuck in Taft while we had to find ways to raise everything, cook food and bring it up so that we can eat. But we always have to think positive and look at the brighter side. The good thing is that we now have a toilet and bath upstairs. I can just imagine the horrors if we still had the old house where we only had one bathroom downstairs. Taking a bath would have been very uncomfortable. Using the toilet would have been horrendous.

It's Sunday. The rains have stopped and I was hoping the water level would have gone down but to no avail. For some reason or another, it has not abated an inch. Hopefully, this is not that kind of flood that stays for months! The phone is now busted and I have no idea exactly where Nitz and the boys are. Not really. Coby decided to take his chances going home and got stuck inside his friend’s car. The last time I heard from him is that he is in a condo unit of a friend. Mickey, likewise, is stuck in traffic I don’t have a freakin’ idea where. Nitz is still somewhere in school. Her office got inundated too and had to transfer. I don’t think they are coming home anytime soon. The water level outside the subdivision is still waist high. (note: They manage to come home around noon)

Before my laptop’s batteries go dead on me, let me blurt out my sentiments on someone out there who will not even get a glimpse of what I have written. Nonetheless, my ramblings might give me some relief. I have no one to blame but the incompetence of education officials to at least have a modicum of intelligence not to trust the weather bureau and its outdated machines and announce a no class day based on what they are seeing outside the comforts of their homes. I blame the city engineers for not having an iota of an idea how to prevent flooding or at least make it go away as soon as possible. Most importantly, I blame the government officials for their greed plaguing this forsaken land with corruption so that they can live in luxury and wanton pleasure regardless of the plight of the citizens who they pledged to serve who are living in misery.

Noynoy for president?

Since the time Noynoy expressed his intention to join the presidential race, allegedly after a deep soul-searching retreat in a religious institution his mother sought before she ran for office, the senator is now on cloud nine. Why not? His candidacy looks even brighter today after a contested survey named him as the person to beat in the 2010 elections. Actually, landing in the top spot does not come to me as a surprise considering the outcome of Cory’s funeral parade which was attended by millions of Filipinos. If we eradicate cheating, which is bound to happen in whatever form during the polls, from among the variables and granting that we are about to have the cleanest elections with the introduction of automated machines, the question to ask is will Noynoy be able to sustain the people’s interest in him considering that 2010 is still a long way and that Filipinos sometimes have a very short memory.

I believe Noynoy does not share the charisma his parents have. Neither does he have the flare of his father’s tongue and quick wit nor his mother’s halo. At least not the Noynoy I have known so far. While he does not come as someone who is bobo, he is short of being a complete nondescript to date. With his lisp and a good surname, he is continuously overshadowed by a sister whose flare is au naturel who insists in giving him a make-over like as if she was Carson Kressley of the Queer eye for the straight guy show. What he actually needs is Kris’ handlers and acting tutors. In all fairness, in both instances I saw her on the boobtube, (one during her expose of being a battered woman and her eulogy for Cory), her timing is impeccable, her stance and gestures on camera, superb.

Noynoy will need a lot of things to work on. Especially now that Archbishop Vidal, whose organization helped a lot with Cory's candidacy and will prove to be a very strong ally, is threatening to disown him after learning about his stand on childbirth control. I am not a political analyst. Of course, I can be way off. But that's not important. I have not made my choice yet as to who to vote for in 2010. I will have to wait until all the hats are thrown into the ring. If Noynoy's credentials are as good as they want to make me believe, then I shall be voting for him. I do not agree with the Administration's pronouncements that the coming elections will not be about good vs. evil. Of course, the administration players will not join a game where they are sure to lose. On the contrary, I believe it is about good against evil this time. Let's see which one shall prevail.

Ample

This is my latest creation which is to be owned by a friend of some twenty eight years or so. He will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow. He is also about to bless his own four-storey building which shall be his new home and printing press combined. He has gone a long way out of honest, hard work and perseverance. I join him and his family in celebrating a life of more abundance, good health and peace.

Linggo ng Wika

I had been asked by the Filipino coordinator to join his little poetry contest in celebration of the Linggo ng Wika and I obliged. Here's the original poem I wrote in Tagalog and my english version. Hope you like them.

Pano bang mamuhay ng malaya?

Tunay ka bang malaya
pagkat ika’y wala sa hawla?
Hindi naninilbihan sa hindi kadugong
iba ang kulay ng balat at anyo?
Malaya ka ba dahil nasisilayan mo ang araw,
napagmamasdan ang buwan
at nararamdaman ang init ng haplos
ng hanging amihan sa gitna ng kadiliman?

Baka naman ika’y parang sampung daliri
na oo nga’t malayang kumilos nang walang paglilimi
pagmasdan mo’t ang kilos naman nito’y
kumporme pa rin sa natural na daloy
pagkat ito’y nakadikit sa iyong palad
kahit gaano pa man ito kalapad.
Oo nga’t maaari kang pumunta kahit saan
ngunit paano itong gagawin kung bulsa mo’y
butas hanggang sa kailailaliman?

Maituturing bang malaya ang isang kaluluwang
ipinapanganak pa lamang ay baon na sa utang?
Utang na ginastos ng walang kapararakan
ng hindi naman dayuhan bagkus ay isang kalahi
na buong hayok na niyurakan yaring kalooban.
Siya na halos isuka ang pagkasarap-sarap na pagkaing
nakahain sa mamahaling pinggan
sapagkat siya’y bundat na sa kabusugan
habang ikaw nama’y kumukulo
ang maasim na sikmurang
parating walang laman.

Ilang beses na bang pinakawalan
itong ibong pipit mula sa kanyang piitan?
Di ba nga’t tuwing may pagtitipong ganyak
Itong mga tibak na hamak
mikoropono’t gitara ‘y pihadong tangan
paliliparin ito at pagbuka ng pakpak ay hahayaan
Subalit , kaibigan, ito’y sa awit lamang
kaya’t kawawang ibo’y umiiyak pa rin sa parang.

Ano ang ganda ng bulaklak na busilak
kung ang pang-amoy mo nama’y manhid
pagkat binara ang ilong mong makitid
ng sangsang ng amoy na basurang hatid?
Aanhin mo ang ganda ng sikat ng umaga
kung bulag ka naman sa sinapit ng inang bayan?
Ano ang silbi ng tamis ng tunog na dulot ng lira
kung bingi ka naman sa panaghoy ng batang ulila?

Malaya ka nga ba kaibigan
pagkat sa hawla ika’y hindi naninirahan?
Pakaisipin mong mabuti
ang ibong pipit na nakapiit ay pihadong kakain
anumang sandali, minsan nga’y pinipilit
samantalang ika’y wala man lang kahit ano
umaasa lamang kung anong sasapit
na tila baga isang aso
nakatali at nag aalumpihit.


What Does It Mean to Live a Free Man?

Can you consider yourself free
because you do not live in a cage;
do not serve foreign masters
who look different than you?

Can you say you’re truly free
just because you can see the sun,
gaze at the moon and feel the gentle breeze
touch your face in the dead of night?

Maybe you are just like your ten fingers
that can move at will
but whose movements are dictated
by the confines of your hand.
Yes, you can go anywhere you please
but cannot do so with barely a dime.

Can one consider free a soul
born heir to debt amounting to trillions?
A debt ill-spent not by a foreign
conqueror but someone of the same race,
who with voracious greed ravaged your being.
He who almost puked the delicious delicacies
served on ornate platters with silver spoons
because he is fully satiated and cannot have more
while your empty stomach grinds
and growls from hunger.

How often have we set the sparrow free?
We have sung in the streets many times
“put a bird inside a cage and it will cry endlessly”
and so we let it go and set it to flight
but that was only in a song
and the poor bird still cries.

Can you claim freedom when all you feel
is the filth of moral degradation?
What is the beauty of a rose
if your sense of smell has been numbed
by the stench of trash all around?
What sweetness do you hear from the sound of a lyre
if you’ve gone deaf to the pleas of the orphaned child?
What will you do with the morning sun
if you’re blind to what has come to this land?

Are you truly free,
because you do not live in a cage?
The caged bird
is sure to eat for he’ll be fed morning till night
while you who have nothing
just like a fettered lapdog waits,
depending on what the day shall bring
if it will ever come.