Saturday, May 29, 2004

Derma clinic, anyone?

In her latest entry, sassy talks about breast implants and vanity. She narrates how people are being duped by quacks for a smaller fee than if they were treated by a licensed doctor. This sparked my memory that happened a few years back.

Two years ago, my eldest daughter, Kraiganne, who was about 16 then, was starting to have pimples. As her mother believes that pimples can really be nasty and have lasting effects like scars in her line of the family (shhhh!), she took my daughter to the derma clinic. When they arrived home, my wife was narrating how expensive and how tedious the procedure was.

I told them, "what's with pimples? It's part of growing up! I never had to consult with dermatologists when I started to have pimples!"

Just like it was rehearsed, they both shouted: "Kaya tingnan mo mukha mo!" Grrrr!

I wonder how my father would have reacted if I talked to him like that? Pihado, mata ko lang ang walang latay!

Now, why am I relating this? The point is that one does not always discipline youngsters the same way one had been subjected to. Time changes. Do we regard children who do not say "po" or "opo" as disrespectful? Do we consider a youngster who reasons with us ingrateful? In my opinion, gone are the days when parents used to say: "Sumagot ka!" and when you try to answer, would say, "Wag kang sasagot, bastos ka!"

As much as possible, I allow my children to reason out. Although, sometimes, I forget this bit of knowledge and revert to how I was treated by adults. Old ways die hard, you see. Ahh, parenting is such a hard job.

Moral of the story, sometimes it would be better if you don't try to interfere with your children's affairs. If you do, two things might happen: 1. You end up being humiliated like what happened to me, or,
2. Baka makasapak ka lang ng teen-ager. hehehe


bayibhyap said...

Times certainly have changed.

You don't instruct students anymore. You discuss with them any problem they may have. You don't discipline them anymore. You discuss their misdemeanours.

Even your own children are treated differently. They have a lot of say in the things they want to do.

Well, not all these are bad. But if we give in to everything they want, we will hurt them by making them less resilient to any crisis in future.

Anonymous said...

Hello Bayi,

It's so nice seeing you here. Yes, times have changed indeed. Your'e right. We can't just give in to anything children want. We are the ones teaching them and not the other way around. If only we have the right formula all the time, no?


joyce said...

hehehe...ganyan din ako sir...minsan, sasabihin ko sa anak ko..."bata ka pa, di pwede yan!"...minsan naman, when you expect a more mature reaction, you say, "matanda ka na ha!" hahahahaha!!! nalilito tuloy sila!

i think, simply put, this is what education experts term as transactional analysis: We are stuck in the parent-ego state, while we expect our children to change almost instantly from child to adult ego states...hehehe...

Anonymous said...

talagang times have change with our children.......good that we have this "open communication", "transactional analysis".

just imagine if our parents are in our shoes today.....naku! ang daming "run away kids".....drug addicts....200% early pregnancy (sa panahon nating parent ngayon 100% lang)and 300% early marriages.......

buti na lang tayo na ang mga parents ng mga bata ngayon.

what im saying is....."laban natin 'to" lets learn from them....copy the good things and just copy the good things...... which is us.


rolly said...

lizli Ang lalim ng nahukay mong post ah. If our parents were to raise these kids today, matagal na silang give up. Unang-una, bawal sa atin ang magsasagot sa matanda, remember? hehe

thanks for the visit

Dinah said...

I remember my father telling me,
Sumagot ka! tapos pag sumagot ka naman, Aba't sumasagot ka pa talaga ha! Ay nakupo Tatay!

Anyway, really parenting has changed! With 3 kids of my own, minsan naiisip ko, parusa yata ito sa pinaggagawa ko sa magulang ko :-)

rolly said...

Dinah I learned to appreciate my parents more when I became a parent myself especially now that they are teen-agers. Thanks for dropping by.