While our school is to open a week later than most schools in the country, (June 7) I can feel the tension building up within my system now. More and more questions are racking my brain more than ever before. I never had this feeling for almost eighteen years. I remember feeling tense twenty years ago when I was a neophyte in teaching. Having graduated from a course totally different from my targeted profession took its toll and I was breathless, my heart palpitating fast, my knees weak especially when I first saw the first class of Grade 7 pupils coming to my room.
I didn't know what to expect then. What will the students say about me? I was paranoid. A simple smile meant a sneer, I was being laughed at, etc. This is what I am feeling today as opening day draws nearer. What will the students think about me in my new post? More importantly, how will the teachers, students and parents take my decisions. Surely, I will be stepping on someone's toes someday. How will I turn each situation that come my way into a win/win scenario?
A large part of the problem is that I can't consider myself as a very disciplined man. I have a tendency to overindulge. A classic example is food. I have a very big appetite. I occasionally cook when my wife couldn't for some reason or another. Now, there has been a saying that a cook finds it hard to eat lots of his/her own cooking. I don't know who came up with that saying but it doesn't work for me. Now, for someone who is diabetic, that spells trouble. Thanks to glucophageI manage to have my blood sugar under control. Another example is smoking. While I have cut down on my consumption, I still couldn't kick the habit. These are the issues I have to contend with personally before I can be confident with my new assignment. If I am sure that I am a man of discipline, then I can look anybody in the eye and say, yes, that was my decision and it's anchored on my own principles.
Oh well, all I can do is look back to when I started and be contented that I have managed to stay this long. If I have done it before, there is no reason why I couldn't do it now even if the consequences have changed. Amen!