At last, my youngest has graduated from high school. He is the last one of my children to leave my clutches. Fortunately for me, unfortunately for him for where I left off, my wife shall take over! Hah! If he thinks coming to school with me was a pain, wait till he experiences his mom's training. For one thing, there will be no more car to take him to and from school. It will be an arduous task of having to commute everyday, just as what his siblings has experienced. This also means that I will be riding to and from school alone. I don't have to sit and wait in the car until a child comes before I go home. I had to do just that for almost twenty years of my teaching life.
But this is not a post about my youngest. This is more about what students and parents alike experience during this time of the year. Did the student pass with flying colors or was there a glitch in his studies for the whole year? What's worse is, will he repeat the year? If you are a student reading this and you passed all the requirements for the course, I salute you. If you belong to the other one, then, how do you deal with it?
The pain of failure is not the student's alone. It is shared, to a much greater extent, I suppose, with the parents. Having to see your child fail is a stab in a parent's heart. A lot of questions and soul searching happens when you see those red marks in your child's report card. Questions like, "where did I go wrong?" or "Did I not teach him/her enough?" "I always told him/her to study the lessons, didn't I?" or much worse, "is it in the genes?" If it's the last one, fingers are pointed to the better half, I guess. hahaha That is not to mention the financial worries. The cost of education keeps on escalating that parents practically have to work a lot harder just to send their kids to school.
Maybe to the student's surprise, the pain is shared by the teacher, too. The same questions arise. "What part of the lesson(s) did he/she not understand?" "If only he had more time for studying..." Failing a student is likewise a failure of the teacher. "BAkit hindi siya natuto?" (Why didn't he/she learn?)
Whatever it is, a failure can develop different outcomes. It can be construed as a weakness, a surrender of one's capabilities as a student and consequently, as an individual. If this happens, the individual becomes a total loser. This is the worst one can view a failure in one, two or more subject areas. Turning a failure into a positive thing is a more acceptable stance. It can be taken as a wake up call. Surely, the student has not done enough. Maybe too much partying or playing with friends. Staying on the phone for too long doing nonsense talk with a friend and lately, chatting for long hours on a computer. How much time did you spend studying the lessons? Have you reading and done all the assigned works? Did you listen to the teacher while lessons were being discussed?
In the end, it will always have to be the student who has to face the consequences of his failure. How does one deal with it? I guess, the best way to deal with the situation is take this as a wake up call. Admit that ones failure is his/her own doing. To blame it on somebody else is pointless. Take it as a challenge to do better next time.
Happy vacation, everyone!
15 comments:
naalala ko nung 2nd year HS ako, first time kong magkaroon ng failing mark. sa favorite subject ko pa, math (algebra).
sobrang takot at hiya ang naramdaman ko non dahil alam kong kagagalitan ako sa bahay ng nanay. pero nung inamin ko sa kanya, di lang siya kumibo. sinabi pa nya ng mahinahon na alam nyang kaya kong bumawi. dun nadurog ang puso ko.
after ng isang quarter ulit, 89 yata ang grade ko sa math noon.
Fear of failure, masaklap talaga kung may failing mark ka.
When I was Uni, I had to drop my Math 17. I think nagka-mental block ako sa dami nang math, stats and physics nang curriculum ko. It was the worst feeling in the world. The only consolation was hindi ako nag-iisa at may mga lalaking umiiyak during exams & when the results were published.
I dreaded the moment I had to tell my parents. Honour student ako, how could I have failed? Alam ko yun sasabihin nang Tatay ko. But you know? It was even worse than that. He said he was so disapppointed in me and that he never knew me to be a quitter.
Can you imagine how I felt? I weakly replied that I'd rather drop it than have a 5 - advise yan nung professor ko sa akin, which I appreciated.
I took the subject again & you know what, di naman pala ganun kahirap. Di ko malaman why I couldn't understand it the first time!
i feel that way you know. when i fail a student, i have to go over it several times, find out what he/she did.
and you are right, it's pointless to blame other people for ones failure.
enjoy your holidays! :)
RJ Kung alam mo lang pinagdaanan ko nung high school...
auee Minsan nasa disposition mo rin siguro. At saka pag naunahan ka ng takot na hindi mo maintindihan.
ipanema Unfortunately, maraming estudyante, sinisisi teacher kagad. Pero wag ka, talaga namang tatamad-tamad nung nasa classroom at daldal lang ng daldal.
I was an average student in HS. I'm not like my siblings na humahakot ng medalya. It pleases my Dad when they get grades above 90 and would say "Manang-mana sa akin 'tong mga anak ko", but gets angry when they have a subject below 85. Me? He lives me alone, manang-mana ako sa nanay ko eh. : D
blogusvox So was I.
ha ha ha natawa ako sa comment ni blogusvox..he he he
sa palagay ko maraming bagay talaga ang dapat isakripisyo nung time na nag-aaral ako...di ako masyadong lumalabas sa mga gimik.
sabi nga ni nanay,pagkatapos mo anak you have all the time in the world!
Mayroon kaming classmate sa college na may kahinaan ang kokoti. Sabi ng aming prof kaya lang daw niya ipinasa ay dahil naubusan na siya ng puedeng itanong sa exams sa kauulit niya ng course na ito LOL. Anyway, he finally graduated a year behind us. He did not pass the board exam either, but among all of us who treated him lightly when we were in college and as emerging professionals, he was one of the most successful in later years as a businessman in our profession. He actually employed a few of our classmates in his firm and he even hired one of our former professors as a consultant. Isn't that ironic or a fitting payback?
i think it's not even a fitting payback, bertN. it is based on the facts that B students are the ones who mostly take risks. A students are very careful with risks.
my children are not average, i may say. but they had their fair share of failures. i think, mr rolly, it is ok that our children experience failure. one way or the other, it helps bringing out the best in them.
you are very true saying that when they fail, it really hurts for a parent (unless the parent doesnt care). we just have to be there always when they fail or succeed.
have a good day!
Ever YAn din sinasabi ko sa mga anak ko. You have all the time in the world when you're working and independent.
BertN MAraming ganyang cases. Minsan kasi, yung akala nating mahihina nuon, sila yung mas sanay makipag deal sa tao, walang inhibitions, etc.
Bingskee I agree completely. It is always how one look at the failure and turning it into a positive that makes it worthwhile. Yung mga hindi sanay mag fail, usually, begin to feel depressed when they do. Wala silang coping mechanism within their system eh. Of course, that is a generalization that can have exceptions.
I studied hard when I was in school because I felt that the sooner I can graduate, the sooner I can work and move out of the house. Hehehe :D
That's how I channeled my rebellious energy. :)
Panaderos Better than just stowing away, right? Take advantage of your parents' resources. NOt all are lucky.
may timpla at obra na ang mga gawa nila tito rolly,iba talaga pag bihasa ang nagtuturo.bilib ako sa mga talento nila.
naalala ko yung unang failing grade ko. first year college - physics pa, of all subjects. one of my favorites.
kasalanan ko. tinamad kasi ako. bwisit kasing teacher ko, hindi marunong magturo.
i wasn't inspired. that's my excuse. hehehehe.
Batjay LAhat ata ng estudyante yun ang excuse eh. hahaha
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