Foreword for the book Aurora

When my book, Picking Up the Pieces came out, one of those who got interested to read it is a very good friend of mine.  Not only did she got interested to read it, it gave her the idea to write her own book telling about her life story. Helping her design the cover and writing the foreword for the book, to push her and proceed as planned, she managed to work on it in between her busy schedule. The plan  materialized and after one and a half years, the book Aurora is now out! I would like to reproduce the foreword I wrote here hoping it might ignite some interest to those who reads this and purchase the book.

Foreword

I have known Aurora or Au, as we called her then, for a very long time. Not only did I know her personally, we were also very close. We taught in the same school in a posh village south of Manila about 20 years ago. I knew her as we were always together with our common friends practically every day during those years. Even more so, I saw the love blossoming between her and her then husband to-be. Hence, I knew her like the palm of my hand, or so I thought. That was until I got to read her book. What a revelation it was! None of those written in this book were known to me nor to her closest friends in school. Nobody knew. She kept every- thing from us and neither anybody knew nor will ever know why people are just different from each other, I guess. Had I known what I have discovered reading her life story, I would not have hesitated to extend help to her had she asked for it. The things she had to endure were so intense that anybody with a faint heart would have

given up a long time ago.

From the day she was born, Au had been living a life of discomfort. To make a difficult existence even worse, one by one, the hurdles she had to overcome became harder—the cross she carried got heavier by the years, just waiting for her to be nailed on it. Using a deck of cards as an analogy, she was dealt a shitty hand of cards. Worse, she was thrown several curve balls to boot, enough to make her life miserable by any ordinary individual’s standards. However, she was far from ordinary. Armed with a brain she learned to nurture with beautiful thoughts, developed the perseverance to study hard and hone her intellectual skills, coupled with a strong resolve and wily wit to beat the odds, she survived them all. She knew how to play the bad hands she had been dealt with, managed to stay afloat and even won in the end.

While on the surface, this book is about Au and her travails in life, one has to read it on different levels. First and foremost, it tells us how to live poor in an already poor country. Being bad enough to live in a land full of wants; to live in utter deprivation in such a horrid place is unthinkable. Second, through this book, one gets a glimpse of the Filipino culture and how Filipinos thrive in spite of having to eke out a living. In a land where there is a great divide between the haves and have-nots, it is impossible to see how different one’s world is from those with plenty and view life with a lot of envy. Not my Au though. She was content with what she had and grew up not wanting what she cannot have—material things that is. Third, the reader will know that one of the distinct characteristics of a Filipino is to learn how to look at life with humor. Dubbed as one of the happiest people on earth, Filipinos have learned to laugh at themselves and their misfortunes. This feature is very evident in Au’s writing as she narrates how poor her family was, yet she injected humor in the narrative giving away how she managed to look at life. Lastly, being religious, a believer of the Catholic faith and devoted to the Virgin Mother, she had surrendered everything to the Lord, but unlike the fanatic, she does so only after having done what she

thought she had to do. These levels are manifested either explicitly or implicitly throughout the pages in this book.

It has been said that we can only truly appreciate the blessings in our lives after we have suffered and worked hard for them. We tend to ignore the pleasures and benefits of life when these are given

to us on a silver platter. Au has had one misfortune after another throughout her life, and she had avowed that all sacrifices and everything she did were all for the love of her Creator. Luckily, her tables have turned, and she now reaps the benefits after a long, arduous life of misery. That is my only consolation after having read her life story—it seems that the trials in her life are now over. It is now time to reap the right to enjoy the remaining years of her life, hopefully, for a very long time—even a lot longer than the years of her suffering. Let this book be an inspiration to everyone knowing that no matter how dark the tunnel of life may be, it has to end somewhere, and at the end is an illuminating light, radiant and bright enough to guide our paths with clarity no matter how long the journey shall be.

                  

                                                                                                                               Rolly S. delos Santos

Let's talk about relationships

Now that I am in my middle years (I believe I will reach the ripe old age of 80), I think I can talk about friendship and relationship like a pro. Of course, I've "been there, done that" during my years here on earth. Believe me when I say that you cannot live a happy life without friends. These are the people who you can count on when you need companionship. The people you can turn to when you are lonely, the people who will help you when you are in trouble and in need. They are more like brothers and sisters to you.

How does one make friends? I think this was addressed by the fox in the Little Prince. He told the prince how to befriend someone. He told him to meet him every three o'clock without fail and soon enough, the fox would miss him once he fails to show up.

During my growing up years, I have had more female friends who were really close to me than I had male friends. Of course, neither am I gay, nor were they love interests of mine. They were all platonic. I knew back then if the woman would be a friend or a girlfriend. I don't think there was a time when I have interchanged the two.

The reason for this is because I enjoy the company of women more than I enjoy the company of men. When I am with men, there is this competitive thing I have to overcome. And almost always, I end up in trouble. Play rough games, win! Basketball? My team had to win! Swimming, I have to swim faster! Drink alcohol? I have to make sure to see them all on the ground bathe in their own retch. (Well, that can be an exaggeration but I never went home more drunk than the next guy. I know how to carry my booze) Lastly, there had been a number of occasions when I got into a brawl with my male friends. I can't forget that time when I celebrated my 16th birthday in San Miguel, Bulacan when me and my friends got into a fight with unknown older guys who were as drunk as we were on the street. My guitar which was given to me by my brother, who bought it in Spain, landed on somebody's head. Or was it at another time? I was drunk, remember? All I remember was that I woke up with a very heavy headache than was normal when nursing a hangover and when I looked at my face in the mirror, my head was swollen. I learned later that they took me to the hospital as I was unconscious for a long time. This is the reason why I drink very seldomly and only with people I am comfortable with.

Anyway, the reasons why I'd rather go out on gimmicks with women are: they smell nicer, more pleasant to look at and the conversation has always been interesting. In short, it is easier for me to feel at ease with women than with men. Maybe that is because I have more sisters and only one brother. Besides, I practically grew up alone. Being the youngest of five siblings, I was born when my youngest sister was already 13 years old. I have always longed for a younger sister.

I feel lonely right now that most of my friends in school, the friends with whom I have shared my joy and my angst with work have either gone abroad or has resigned. My bestfriend in college had died of cancer, and one of my closest friends is fighting for her life with the same disease. Worse, not only are the new batch of teachers coming in are much younger than I am, they see me as an administrator rather than as a friend. Now I know that the saying "it is lonely at the top" is true. And I am not even at the top! At best, my position is what we call "primus inter pares" or first among equals. Mot really top of the line, is it? Nothing to brag about. At any rate, I have this feeling that I am intruding everytime I try to join them during their light moments. I try reaching out but sometimes I feel estranged.

This is the reason why I value my blogging friends. They are always there no matter what time of day and that is not an exaggeration. Wake up in the wee hours of the morning and there will be someone online. We all come from different parts of the globe, you see. All i have to do is turn on the computer, go to my gmail account and somebody is sure to be there. I am talking about my friends in Blogkadahan. We are celebrating our first year anniversary this month and to celebrate it, we decided we would talk about poverty. Check it out! The posts are very interesting. If you care to look at mine, here check this out.