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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

We must be doing a good job

Last Wednesday, I was out of the house for a cig when my son called me from the house. He said my eldest daughter who is now working for a car company, has something to say. Just like her mom who has a penchant for ceremonies, I was wondering what the announcement would be. As I was told that she wanted me to be the first to hear the news, I entered the gate and was about to go inside the house. However, before I could enter, she already met me at the door. Secretly, she whispered that she was given her yearly bonus. Much to my surprise, she gave me 2K. I asked her how much was her bonus but she said I did not have to know. (Of course!) Then, she called her mom and gave her mom her share. Then, she called on her siblings, who was jumping with joy upon receiving her surprise. My eldest son, in jest, even kissed her footsteps while the youngest gave her kisses on her cheeks. Then, we partook of the ice cream that she brought home.

Of course, she did not have to do that. She already shares with some of the household expenses. When I was growing up, we had a neighbor who was berating her son for not showing utang na loob (debt of gratitude) to his parents for having reared him and sent him to school. At the time, I thought that was right but my parents told me that there was something wrong with her logic. It is the parents' obligation to rear their children, give them shelter and clothing, send him to school and all that. But, the child has no obligation to his parents for bringing him into this world. The child never chose who his/her parents will be, in the first place. If a child decides to take care of his aging parents, feed them and give them a share of his/her earnings, that would be out of the graciousness of his/her heart, not out of duty or obligation.

Nevertheless, I rememeber the first time I earned money. It was during the first quarter storm and ironically, the country was visited by a strong typhoon and hundreds of people were stranded in Central Luzon. The government ordered nutribuns (I wonder if anybody can remember these) to be sent to those stranded along the roads of Pampanga en route to Manila. The producer of these nutribuns were neighbors and could not keep up with the demands to supply the needed product unless they work round the clock. The solution was to employ us, the neighborhood gang, for the night shift and I got the chance to work even for just a night. I remember having earned Php10.00. (Maybe we were underpaid but we did not care. What we knew was that we had fun). I offered my mom half of it and she was very pleased. When my eldest daughter Now I know what that money meant to my mom.

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Blogger Panaderos said...

It was very kind and thoughtful of your daughter to share her blessings with her parents and siblings.

Your neighbor's attitude that her son owes his parents a debt of gratitude is out of line. It made me remember a particular line from an old Sidney Poitier movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" when he said the following to his father:

"You listen to me. You say you don't want to tell me how to live my life. So what do you think you've been doing? You tell me what rights I've got or haven't got, and what I owe to you for what you've done for me. Let me tell you something. I owe you nothing! If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you're supposed to do! Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me like I will owe my son if I ever have another."

Some parents think of their children as property that they own. Parents serve as mere custodians for God.

1:50 AM  
Blogger RJ said...

amen to that, tito rolly. wala naman talagang obligasyon ang mga anak sa kanilang mga magulang. pero i always give them a share of my earnings kahit papano, or treat them elsewhere. kasiyahan para sa anak ang masuklian at makitang masaya ang kanilang mga magulang na nagbunga ang matagal nilang pinaghirapang palakihin.

2:03 AM  
Anonymous BlogusVox said...

I agree. We don't owe our parents anything. It's their responsibility to raise us properly for bringing us to this world. When we give them anything, its because we want to and not out of obligation. Same thing when we'll have our own family. It's our responsibility to children and expect nothing in return.

BTW, I know what nutribun is. We used to received that at school as part of the government's nutrition program together with that powdered milk na bigay nang Kano.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous mae said...

sabi po ni rayman, swerte nyo daw po.
gnyan din po parents ko. hindi nila ko inoobliga na magbigay sa knila. pero masarap pa rin yung feeling na nakakatulong ka o nkakapagbigay ka sa parents mo.

3:11 PM  
Blogger ayzprincess said...

tito rolly, you are blessed to have a daughter like her..

i must admit, ako di ako masyadong nagaabot nung kila mama, i always find reasons not to share what i earn, kesyo maliit sweldo ko o may binabayaran ako.. but this year i started helping out a bit.. i know its not much but at least i am able to show my gratitude to my parents through this.

4:34 PM  
Blogger edgar said...

This good deed actually varies from culture to culture and at times for Economic reasons.In many third world countries people sire many children possible as an insurance when they get old and when they become less productive.Although Once a country becomes affluent, their people being financially stable sire lesser children and become less dependent on their family(specially from their children) for care and for basic necessities once they gets old, too their children feel less obligated to do so,And We( my theory ) being exposed to a life in a third world country and at one time saw,heard or experience hardship in life have had developed that feeling of responsibility and obligation to our parents regardless of their status in the society and how big or small their family is.

7:53 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

panaderos Isn't this the one that starred Sidney Poitier as the guest? You have a very good memory to quote that. Well said. A tit for tat, the circle of life.

rj How I wish I could have done the same thing like you do but my father has died and I already have my own family just a few years after graduation. How I wish I could have given my parents more.

blogusvox hehe, napaghahalata edad natin no?

mae palagay ko naman swerte ako sa lahat ng anak ko. At swerte rin sa mommy nya si Rayman kasi mabait siyang anak.

ayz There are a lot of things I have to be thankful for. I tend to focus on my blessings and not my shortcomings kasi.

BTW, it's not the amount that counts that the thought that you want to help out especially if you still live with them.

Edgar I think you have valid points there. Yes, this is culture bound and also has something to do with economic stability.

8:14 PM  
Blogger Panaderos said...

Yes, you're right in that Sidney Poitier was the guest in that movie. The lines I quoted were from a scene where he argued with his father who was against the idea of him marrying a white girl.

I've watched the movie at least 20 times and that's why I know those lines by heart. Hehe Ang nerd ko talaga. Grabe! :D

8:38 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

panaderos Sabi ko na eh.

Para palang nung unang lumabas yung Jesus Christ Superstar, ang daming beses kong napanood kasi ang daming nagpasama sakin. By the fourth time, kinakanta ko na lahat yung kanta don.

5:55 PM  
Blogger cathy said...

suwerte mo titorolly.
reminds me of my brothers when they got their first paychecks in their temp job. They bought pancit from Pancit Moderna and one-liter of Coca-Cola.

so everytime i see pancit, i remember those moments.

4:34 AM  
Anonymous bertN said...

When I started working after college, I regularly gave a portion of my salary to my parents. They never asked for it but it seemed to me it was the right thing to do then - it's cultural, I think.

I sent my children to college because I owe this to them and I do not expect anything in return...just the respect that is due me as a parent. They are now professionally successful, earning more money than I ever did, but the flow of "aid" is still from me to them and I like and want to keep it that way for the remainder of my life.

9:18 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

cathy My daughter has always been a good girl. So far, swerte kami sa anak.

bertN Exactly!

10:50 PM  
Anonymous Connie said...

When I started earning and I offered to share in the household expenses, my mother said, "No, save for yourself." 'Di na ako umabla, ano, eh ang ganda-ganda na ng response n'ya, sobrang favorable to me. hehehehe

2:49 PM  
Blogger ipanema said...

yes, i still remember nutribun. we had that in elementary school. :)

well, as i've been telling you, you've raised them well!

pede penge din ako? :)

11:12 AM  
Blogger tintin said...

Wow, you have generous kind-hearted kids!

12:11 PM  
Blogger lei said...

hi po, nice blog. one of the few na may sense. hindi nakakaboring basahin at may mga aral na mapupulot. link ko kayo ha. thanks.

3:03 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

Connie Oo naman, hehe

ipanema Sige ba. Punta ka dito. :-)

tintin That makes us lucky I guess.

lei Sige, link ka lang. I'll do the same pag nagka time. Thanks for your kind words.

8:04 PM  
Blogger BatJay said...

nung una akong nagtrabaho, binigay ko lahat ng suweldo ko ng unang paycheck sa mommy ko. after a week, inutang ko rin kasi wala akong pamasahe papuntang school.

tama ka sir, walang obligation ang anak na buhayin ang mga magulang niya. kung magbibigay siya, it was to be from the child's generosity.

2:40 AM  
Blogger rolly said...

batjay I am not surprised that you did. I know how much you love your mom. Ako hindi gaano kasi nakapag asawa na ko when I started to earn more than I spent for myself.

9:53 AM  
Blogger bayi said...

It is not the sum given to you but the act and the thought behind it that bring about the untold satisfaction and happiness.

Bringing up children is both and obligation and a pleasure. It's a pleasurable obligation. But getting a reciprocal response like what your daughter has done brings even greater satisfaction and pride.

*Rolly, I can almost sense a peacock spreading its fascinating colorful tail somewhere nearby!*

12:14 PM  
Anonymous SK said...

Oh Rolly, it's sweet!

8:13 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

bayi True! She could have given me Php200.00 and I would have been just as happy.

Did you mean some wise punk spreading his feathers to woo my daughter? Hmmm, not yet. She doesn't seem to be interested in those kind of things yet.

SK Very! See you soon.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous SK said...

Hehe Rolly, who knows she is already in that and probably you're not in the know yet? ;-)

6:43 PM  

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