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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Pakikisama

Filipinos as a people do not have a philosophy similar to Western tradition of thought. We do not have the likes of Plato, Socrates or France's Jean Paul Sarte, Rousseau and the like. We are a predominantly Chirstian country with the majority being Catholic, thanks to the Spaniards. Hence, the closest we can be to a Western philosophy is Christian which, ironically was handed to us by Westerners when it started in the East where we are located. And yet, apart from our religion, it is not that we do not have a philosophy to guide our lives for we do. We do have a common set of values with wihich we see the world. These are guiding principles that govern our lives from time immemorial. This is a kind of folk wisdom handed to us by our forefathers that has withstood the test of time. Emerita Quito liken these philosophy to the German volksgeist, or a collective sense or diwa of a given set of people. I am referring to our Bahala na which can be attributed to leaving everything to God (probably originating from the word Bathala or God); Hiya (shame), ningas cogon (procrastination) and pakikisama camaraderie or group loyalty. Before you raise your eyebrows saying that these are negative traits we have inherited from our forefathers, Quito maintains that there are positive effects to these traits.

At any rate, let me talk about pakikisama. This word is very important to a Filipino as one would not want to be seen as not having one. We should always be a team player. We should always go with the community and its wishes. We do not want to be branded an outcast. Especally that we have a devotion to the family which extends beyond imagination. Thus, we have friends call our parents "tatay" or "nanay", the househelp calling us "kuya" or "ate", etc. denoting closeness. It is a sense of shame to be referred to as "walang pakisama" or one who does not know how to go along. As has been stated earlier, this trait carries with it both positive and negative outcomes. Because ot this trait, we learn that our lives depend on one another for survival and that "peace or lack of dissension is a constant goal." Yet, it also brings about being blind to evil doings "like graft and corruption in order to conserve peace and harmony in a group at the expense of one's comfort."

I have been feeling the pangs of pakikisama's negativite effects lately. You see we have a neighbor who had just moved in. The thing is we live in a very small subdivision where two cars besides each other can hardly be accomodated. If you happen to live in the middle of two blocks like I do, you can park your car outside your garage but at the risk of having it bumped on the sides. Me and my old neighbors have an unwritten understanding that should it happen that our vehicle is blocking the way, all that has to be done is to honk the horn and the owner of the car will move it immediately. My new neighbor lives at the corner where we pass everyday. The guy has a garage but he has this nasty habit of parking his car right at the middle of the road making it entirely impassable. Not only that! The family is fond of parties and they would literally close the entire road blocking it with tables and chairs and you guessed it correctly - drinking till midnight. Nevermind that the teen-aged family member would blast their stereo every afternoon while people are napping. I don't anyway.

I never say a word about the disturbance they are causing out of "pakikisama". However, they are beginning to become a nuisance. When I got home today, their car was parked again outside of the house. I couldn't get through as there was not enough room. I asked my son to politely tell the owner to please move it and let me pass first before he put it back where he wanted it parked. To my dismay, it was the househelp who went out only to tell me that her boss was out for an errand and won't be back for a while. I had no other way but to find another route praying that there won't be any cars blocking the way or it will be a long, arduous way to back up. Bwisit di ba?

I guess it is high time to demand from them to exhibit pakikisama for a change!

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23 Comments:

Anonymous Arturo said...

Tito,
It is time for you to organize a neighborhood association or homeowner/renter association where everybody will be made aware of the rules of common courtesy between neighbors. If that does not work, flat tires are a good starting point. He he he. . . "joke only."
Tito Turo

9:24 AM  
Blogger BatJay said...

medyo mahirap nga ang may ganyan na kapitbahay. kahit ano sigurong pakikisama mo eh walang epekto.

minsan may makakatapat yon - baka magising na lang sila isang umaga, wala nang gulong yung kotse nila.

sana makuha sa pakiusap.

12:01 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

Tito Turo Would you believe na meron kaming association? AT eto pa, ako ang VP hehe. Kaso hindi ako nakakaattend ng meeting lately because I'm always busy. I am not one to throw my weight around, though. Ni hindi nya nga alam na me position ako sa association eh. Gusto ko maayos namin ng walang samaan ng loob. Kaya baka kausapin ko na lang muna.

Flat tire, hmmmmm. Wag. hehehe baka mahuli hahaha

Batjay mukhang makikinig naman at malaki ang kabataan sa akin. Sana... Malay natin, baka nagbabasa ng blog, hehe

6:55 PM  
Blogger Rey A said...

Tito R, ikaw ba ay nai-imbita naman sa kanilang mga handaan? Kung hindi talagang wala silang "pakikisama" :)he he. Dapat siguro mag palabas ng kasulatan ang inyong samahan ukol sa mga patakaran na dapat ipairal tungo sa mabuting pagka-kapitbahayan...iyan nama'y kung hindi siya makikinig sa iyong paki-usap :) Sige, sana'y maging matagumpay ka na maipamulat sa iyong bagong kapitbahay ang kanyang katiwalian...

1:47 PM  
Blogger ipanema said...

Naku, mga pests ang mga yan. Wala bang binigay na rules and regulations ang developer ng subdivision nyo?

Oi, VP huh, organize kayo ng meeting - anong mga problema, etc.

5:46 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

Rey A Oo naman. Actually, nung house blessing nila pinuntahan pa ko eh. Kung baga talagang amoral ata sila o kaya clueless. hehe

Ipanema Iniisip ko rin yun e. Meron kaming rules syempre tulad ng bawal mnag park at uminom sa kalsada. Ang hindi ko lang alam e kung naasikaso ng association na bigyan sila ng guidelines ng subdivision. Pero kunsabagay, dapat it goes without saying, diba? It's incumbent upon a person to practice propriety always.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Noypetes said...

Naku naman, Yung intro mo dito sa blog na to ay nag-pa alala sa dati kong professor sa college. Marami rin siyang mga philospher na kinu-quote at bago siya matapos eh nag-hihilik na kami sa classroom....biro lang. Importante yang pakikisama sa ating mga Pinoy. Pero madalas rin na ina-abuso ng iba ang tapat na pakikisama. Tulad nung sinabi mong ang tawag ng iba mong kaibigan sa mga magulang mo ay "tatay at nanay" din para bagang pag-galang sa kanila. Pero yung iba pag tinawag na tatay at nanay ang magulang mo tuwing nakikitambay sila sa inyo, ibig sabihin nuon ay "ano po ba ang ulam niyo Nay!". At mapapansin mo na dumadalas ang tsibug nitong si Isko sa haybols niyo. Ang term na "Itinuturing ko na rin silang parang mga anak ko" ay di ibig sabihin na iiwanan mo na yung malamok niyung haybols at duon ka na matutulog madalas sa mabait mong mga kapitbahay at magaalmusal na rin duon! Yung mga katulong na tinatawag kang kuya ay medyo delikado rin minsan. Napapalapit sila sa iyo at humahantong sa..."KUYA wag KUYA baka magising ang mga ate, plis lang KUYA pag alis na lang nila!". Yun namang kapitbahay mo na buwisit, Magara ba ang kotse niya? Dito kasi sa amin, alam mo pag pinoy ang kalapit-bahay mo dahil ang makintab at naka magwils na MERCEDES BENZ ay naka-buwangwang sa kalsada na minsan ay sagabal sa pag-alis ko sa umaga pag mina-mane-obra ko ang luma kong trak sa makitid naming kalsada. Courtesy at pakikisama yan dapat palagi pero wag kang utang ng utang sa mga magaling mong makisamang mga kaibigan dahil abuso de kompiyansa yan. Tapos pag di naibigay ang abusado mong hiling eh sasabihin mong: "Tang na naman walang pakikisama tong si Rolly, $3,000.00 lang di pa ako mapahiram!" Paano ko ngayon mababayaran ang Chedeng ko! Pag na-reposess to di ko na siya kakausapin maski kelan!

12:58 AM  
Anonymous DatuPanot said...

ka rolly,

sobrang bait ka! aba eh ang tawag dito sa kapit-bahay mo eh "inkonsideret" ika nga sa wikang ingles, di ga? anak ng tikbalang eh, nakapapanggigil talaga yang mga ganyang ka-hanggan.
ka rolly, i pil yur payn !
isumbong mo sa barangay....gud lak !~!~

DatuPanot

11:01 AM  
Blogger rolly said...

Noypetes and Datupanot I see you come from the same blog. Ang gagara ng bike nyo ah. I remember Peter Fonda in Easy Rider. Na meet nyo ba ang Hells Angels sa Canada? That is where most of them transferred ata eh.

Anyway, noypetes, minsan nga naaabuso ang inaakala nating kabutihang asal no? Pero siguro hindi naman unique lang sa atin yun. Human nature kung baga.

Datu panot, isa na lang ang ipinab lish ko ha. anyway, hindi pa naman sila yung neighbors from hell. Mababait pa naman talaga lang minsan maiiisip mo inconsiderate nga pero without meaning to be naman siguro. hehe
Mahirap kaaway ang kapitbahay at araw araw e kasama mo yan no maatter what at in times of trouble, siya ang mapupuntahan mo agad. Kaya hanggat makakapag pasensya at unawa, yun na lang muna.

1:27 PM  
Anonymous Noypetes said...

Tito Rolly,
Ang Hells Angels ay corporate na ngayon. Nililinis nila ang image nila dahil sa malaking merchandising market ng mga puwede nilang pag-kakitaan. Marami pa ring salbahe sa kanila.

Kami namang mga Pinoy bikers dito sa west coast eh kool lang. Samahan at barkadahang Pinoy pa rin.

Masaya ang mga lakaran namin at kung saan-saan kami uma-abot katulad ng sabi mo na ala "Easy Rider" kuno.

Harutan at kurutan ng utong at iba-iba pang mga biruan ang naga-ganap pag nasa biyahe kami. Alam mo kasi tayong mga Pinoy eh di masaya pag walang halong hirap at hamon ng balakid ang mga ginagawa nating paglalakbay maski saan.

Ika nga, iba ang samahan at pakikisama nating mga Pinoy.

2:47 PM  
Blogger VICKY said...

i could only sympathise with you, rolly and bow ako sa tolerance and patience mo. lipat ka na rito para ikaw kapitbahay ko. he needs to be reminded or put a notice infront of your driveway-pls don't block driveway or house if it's possible. have a good weekend.

3:05 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

Noypetes When I was in Canada, an alleged leader of the Hells Angels was arrested for firing a gun in a club they use to hang out in.

Vicky Marami ngang nagsasabi saking maganda nga daw ang sistema dyan sa Australia. Maybe someday I'll see for myself.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous bugsybee said...

I don't like jumping to conclusions especially when it's negative but, Tito Rolly, I can't help it in this instance. A person who is not rude would not do what your neighbor and his kids have done. I think it is about time that you (and I am sure your other neighbors) talk to them about basic courtesy. Aray ko po - nakakahiya sila!

5:03 PM  
Anonymous DatuPanot said...

estimado ka rolly,

ang napapansin ko ay ito la-ang, bakit tayong mga filipinong pasaway sa sariling bayan ay nagiging masunirin sa batas at maituturing na modelong mamamayan pagdating sa ibang bayan? yang kapit bahay mo ay malamang na magiging "repormed fasaway" (sa wikang ingles) pag-dating sa ibang bansa.

saludos,

dp

10:15 PM  
Anonymous bayi said...

We have similar problems in Malaysia. In particular, the problem is felt in Kuala Lumpur, where squatters and residents of low-cost houses and flats cramp into small living areas with narrow roads.

Often when a celebration is held, the whole road is closed off. A more considerate resident would put up signs at the junctions so that one is not caught in an awkward situation of having navigated his car into the road and not being able to back out easily.

And the cramped conditions often create situations where fights erupt at the slightest provocation. Several years ago this happened and resulted in minor accidents that may have been harmless but they erupted into hysterical killings that sent the police into the affected area and curfew was imposed. It threatened to spread to the other areas in Kuala Lumpur.

This incident made the government sit and new and better apartments were immediately constructed for the squatters.

It takes only one selfish neighbor to create a lot of unhappiness.

11:05 PM  
Blogger cathcath said...

i commented twice. hindi lumalabas.

11:42 PM  
Blogger rolly said...

bugsy Hindi pa ko nakakakuha ng magandang tyempo. The association should have given them the guidelines for the subdivision. Maybe it has, I don't know but lately naman hindi siya naglalabas ng kotse.

datuPanot Napansin ko rin yan. Maybe it's because alam natin na the police means business sa ibang bansa. Dito kasi, all rules seem to only be for the others and not for us. Plus the fact na nasusuhulan naman ang pulis.

BAyi I think this is a problem in congested areas. The world is getting smaller.

Cath Sorry but I have not received any for moderation. I would have approved it had it been available in my email. Sorry for the trouble this had caused you.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tito rolly, hindi ba pwedeng i-request sa association na pinturahan ng red (firelane) yung mga lugar na masisikip. Nangyari na rin sa akin yan dito sa states sa kapitbahay kong Pilipino, hinarangan yung parte ng driveway ko, e mayroon pa namang lugar sa kanyang diveway- nagiinit ang ulo ko pero dinala ko na lang sa diplomasya. Kinausap ko siya at hindi naman naulit. Nabalitaan ko rin na pinagsabihan din siya nung isang kapitbahay naming Mexicano dahil ipinapark niya yung bulok na sasakyan niya sa tabi ng bahay nila kahit may lugar pa sa harap ng bahay. Ngayon maayos naman ang aming samahan at hindi na naulit.

Epol

4:56 AM  
Blogger rolly said...

Epol Ginawa na namin yan sa lugar namin especially dun sa may park. Talaga lang problema dito ang space. Mukha namang okay na yung kapitbahay ko at hindi pa ko naharang ulit for a very long time. hehe

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Lito C. said...

Tito,
Naku tito, kung sa amin sa Project 3, QC lang yan: may bato kaagad na lalanding from nowhere. And that is a clear warning! Let's be civil however. I suggest that, together with your other neighbors, file a petition to the barangay chair or council for your kapitbahay to maintain good neighborly manners.

7:41 PM  
Blogger JMom said...

diba pakikisama also goes both ways? pakikisama also means making sure your neighbors have access to their driveways, can nap in the afternoons, and won't be inconvenienced just so you can have it easy.

what if you give him a dose of his own medicine? balandrahan niyo siya next time and see what he will do.

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Lani said...

Mabuti naman at mukang nakahalata na siya, Tito Rolly (naki-tito na rin po ako). Minsan nga iyon nakakainis sa iba, nang-aabuso ng kabutihan ng kapwa. Sana lang lahat ay nadadaan sa mabuting usapan.

10:27 AM  
Blogger rolly said...

Lito C Mahirap gawin yung ganon. Lalo lang gugulo. Nakukuha naman sa pag-uusap yan eh.
Salamat sa pagdalaw ha.

JMom Yes, pakikisama works both ways! Nuff said, diba?

Lani Sana nga nakahalata na. Thanks for dropping by

7:03 PM  

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MGA TURO NI TITO:
Twenty years of teaching must sure amount to something. A new friend in cyberspace suggested I ought to have a journal by now. I agree.


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